"Life is not a bed of roses" This age old saying is on the way out of my dictionary for the last time.If you ponder over this saying for sometime the underlying meaning becomes very clear.Roses have thorns on their stems.So life being a bed of roses also has its share of aches and pains to the unfortunate being who is sentenced to live his life in this plane of existence.Of late my life has become a really large bed of roses.....minus the petals.All that is remaining is a blanket of thorns each one drawing living blood out of my body on contact.Each step towards the answer to my life has become a torture in itself.
The bed was not always of thorns only.There were beautiful flowers..........soft to touch and fragrant which protected me from the underlying horrors filling the world with their beauty.Then also there were occasional pricks of pain but then it was wiped away without a trace........solace to be found in the depths of the warm embrace of the pleasent wind around....All good things must come to an end and this underlying truth finally touched me with its cold fingers.The spring of the life is gone...........it is nothing more than a mere memory lost beneath the torrent of emotions that swept away the last traces of humanity that i had.Holding on to the few pillars of support around i cried.......not words but cries arising from depths within me which i never knew existed.All these went unanswered and it was a long time before i realised that there was noone coming for me.The last ray of hope i had was someone waiting for me on the other side of this abyss but gradually that too was fading fast.Inside me a change was happening.The sense of being was replaced by a emptiness impossible to define, the person i was changed,changed to something even i fear in its darkest hours.I am scared even to delve into this new ME as even a glimpse into its depths had got me worried beyond imagination.The time of light has passed and a new dawn has come.............the time of the beast is on hand.This "Thing" is nothing more than i myself, but a part of me is worried..........unleashing this upon the world around...........such a terrible and terrifying thought.
But what all consequences it may have,what all trouble it may create, in a way i am not responsible for it's actions.Yes, the creature resides within me and it is using my body as the vessel for its plans,my plans.The actual culprits are those who in the first place pushed me to the darkest corner such that this whole episode of my life came to light.May God forgive those damned souls for what they have done to me.But one thing is sure,i am not going to forgive them............He inside is not going to forgive them..the time is here and the time is now..........revenge is a dish best served cold but i like it hot..........hot as in their warm blood washing over me when i rip their throats out and consume their living forces.Yes, this is the answer to my life, my salvation.A bloodbath!!!!This is what the scriptures told me, this is what i will do..............the final dance of death has begun.........the waiting is finally over...........the time has come for me to bathe in their blood......to be a part of the burning river Styx.........on a never ending journey towards HELL...............my own Hell.....
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