Monday, February 06, 2012

The Descent

Day 0:
Bad hangover from yesterday. Got to go to work today. Woke up late. One hour, I must be out of house by then.
Brushed, skipped on bath and breakfast. Got ready. Lighted the cigarette. Ah..finally some peace.
Bad day at work. Need to unwind and fast. Gets out of office at lunch. Skipped lunch. Lighted the cigarette. Damn, I needed that.
Took half day leave. Went home. Hot day to walk. Drank a bottle of coke, lighted a cigarette. Hmm, cigarettes with coke is tasting good.
Party time tonight. Drinking rum and coke. Lighted a cigarette. Drank rum, lighted cigarette, drank rum, lighted another cigarette, drank rum, lighted another cigarette and another....and another and another....and....passed out
Day 1:
Damn woke up late today. Called in sick at work. Painful headache. Lighted a cigarette. Its already afternoon. Called restaurant for home delivery. Ordered another pack of cigarettes. Ate a late lunch. Lighted another cigarette. Drank left over rum from yesterday. Feeling sleepy. Lighted another cigarette. Went to sleep
Day 2:
Too tired to get up. Bad case of cough and cold. Lighted a cigarette. Smoke feels good on my throat. Ordered same food as yesterday, Ordered another pack of cigarettes. Call came from manager at work. Cut the call and kept phone on silent mode. Ate food. Too tired to stay up any more. Lighted another cigarette. Feeling very tired. Went back to sleep
Day 3:
Woke up, its late afternoon already. Was up coughing all night. Could not sleep well. Feeling tired again. Got up. Lighted a cigarette. Throat feels raw. Smoke seems to clear it. Lighted another cigarette , and another, and another. Feeling a bit better. Running low on cash. Walked to the nearby ATM. Bought cough syrup. Went to restaurant, had only soup. Bought a pack of cigarettes. Reached home. It was a tiring day. Lighted a cigarette. Throat feels a bit better already. Drank the cough syrup. Fell asleep on chair.
Day 4:
Woke up and still on the chair. Neck hurts a lot , cannot turn my head. Lights a cigarette. Drank left over coke. Lights another cigarette. Drank cough syrup. Checked phone and saw there were many missed calls, mostly from work. Turned mobile off. Out of cigarettes again. Went out and bought a carton of cigarettes. Lights a cigarette. Not hungry, but in a mood to drink. Went out and bought rum and coke. Hot day. Lights another cigarette. Drinking early today. Music must be played. Slayer singing “Dead Skin Mask” in the background. Lights a cigarette , drink rum, lights another cigarette, drinks rum, lights another .....drinks....lights.....passed out.
Day 5:
Too sick to get up. Finally got on my feet, feels like throwing up. Threw up in the kitchen sink. Lights a cigarette. Bad taste in mouth, feeling sick again. Cough syrup almost over. Drank cough syrup with rum. Still throat burns. Applies Vicks vaporub on the cigarette and smoked. Feeling better now. Smoke clears my throat. Too tired to go out. Watched TV, not hungry at all. Lights another cigarette. Tried to order food, but no cash. Decides to fast. Lights a cigarette. Head spinning. Had a paracetamol. Not working. Drank the last of cough syrup with last of rum. Fell asleep on chair again.
Day 6:
Opened eyes. Too tired to get up. Lights a cigarette. Fell asleep with cigarette in hand
Day 7:
Woke up. Dry throat. Cannot open eyes properly. Lights a cigarette. Tries to throw up, nothing happens . Stomach cramps and head aches are troubling. Lights a cigarette, not helping, lights another one. Feeling hungry , tried ordering food. Restaurant is closed, too tired to try calling another place. Lights a cigarette. Ate left over Lays from 2 days back. Lights a cigarette. Tired again, goes to bed to try to sleep. Hungry to sleep well, lights another cigarette, and another ....and another....pass out.
Day 8:
 Woke up. House is dark. No idea what time it is. Turned light on. Lights a cigarette. Someone is knocking on the door. Not feel like answering. Checked phone, turned it on. Not turning on, its out of battery charge. Too tired to get the charger, too tired. Lights another cigarette. Goes back to bed to sleep again.
Day 9:
Woke up. Someone is carrying me Feels like a kidnapping. Tried to shout but no sound comes out. Falls out of bed, bad dream. Too nervous to go back to sleep. Lights a cigarette. Hands are shaking. Lights another cigarette. Thinking about food, but not very hungry. Lights another cigarette. Searched house for something to drink. Little bit of rum left. Had it with water. Lights another cigarette. Feels like throwing up again. Ignored. Lights another cigarette, not feeling well, lights another one. Back to bed, fell asleep.
Day 10:
Opened eyes. Vision is kind of blurry. Bright and dark at the same time. Room stinks. Body stinks. Clothes stinks. Breath stinks. Tried to get up to wash and change. Too much of effort. Sat down on the floor. Too tired to get up again. Lights a cigarette. Smoke clearing up vision. Bad breath is a memory. Smoke smells good. Lights up another cigarette, and another, and another....passes out on floor.
Day 11:
Woke up. Still on the floor. Throat itches. Searching for cigarettes, last pack opened. Lights a cigarette. Need to buy more while going out for food. Lights another one, could not finish it. Drank water, fell asleep again
Day 12:
Woke up. Lights a cigarette. Checks for coke, nothing left in the bottle. Lights a cigarette. Not feeling ok. Packet of cigarettes is over. Tried to find another one, cannot find a single cigarette. Found half smoked one from yesterday, lights it. Smoke feels good. I need more, more cigarettes, need to find more. Passes out
Day xxx:
Woke up. Feels like been asleep for quite a long time. Dark all around. May be power failure. Too tired to move or talk. Tried finding the cigarettes, not around anymore. Tried lifting myself up. Banged head on something. Wood. Pushes it with both hands, not moving.  Tries harder. Searches around for my lighter. Hand hits my body, sick sound. Panic sets in. Pushes harder. Small glimmer or light. Puts hand near light. It passes through completely. White bone staring at me. Smacks on head to clear thoughts. Sick sound of bone against bone. Bones on skull, sounds so so...sick.


Am I dead or Am I alive?? Buddy, you have a cigarette for me?