tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155539702024-03-06T23:41:06.932-08:00Convoluted RevelationsA peek inside into the mind of someone whom i am supposed to know but know not anymoreslain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-86108268883003422682016-04-05T05:27:00.001-07:002016-04-05T09:03:52.549-07:00The Untold Story : A fan's interpretation <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
It was the letter than changed
everything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“We are not sure when you would
read this but it is important that at least you of all people should know the
truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Many years ago, the league of
assassins started a movement to reform Gotham under the leadership of Ra’s Al
Ghul. After initial setbacks meted out to them by the Gotham elite, a very
dangerous plan was made to systematically eliminate the threats one by one so
that Gotham would finally fall under chaos where the league can move in and
assert its domain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Under the guidance of a time
traveller , Rip Hunter we came to know of who all are going to be the targets .
Any changes in the schedule would have alerted the league to the fact that we
are aware of theirs so a bold decision was taken. Multiple look alike copies
were created out of volunteers in our organizations to attend multiple events
in our stead, including family occasions. These brave warriors were well aware
of the risks, but we still cannot forgive ourselves for what has been done. The
league took the bait, and under the guise of random acts of violence, multiple
targets were expertly assassinated. Among them were both mine and Martha’s
dupes , gunned down by a league assassin disguised as mugger. As our son was
not a target, we left him and our entire fortunes under your care , knowing
that you would take care of him as your own as you have taken care of me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Since a public exposure would cause
tremendous repercussions, we began to operate in secret with fellow “elites”
and formed our own secret society to counter the league operations ,
CADMUS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything was going as planned
but there was an unexpected complication , Martha became pregnant again and we
had a son. At the same time, the leader of our small group, Vandal Savage began
to exhibit his true colors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ours turned
from a well wishers organization to something a little more sinister. The funds
were redirected to scientific research and genetic mutation. Afraid of our
reputations getting tarnished , we went along . During this period of time ,
all of us were under forced arrest in his base of operations , without any news
or contact from the outside world . We would have remained there too till the
end of our time , if not for what happened 2 months ago. Our son, an energetic
8 year old even under these trying circumstances , vanished . The search went
on for days , but to no avail . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
One morning , 2 weeks later , we
got a message to collect our son from Savage’s laboratory . Shocked , we rushed
there to find a broken husk of a kid , barely recognizable .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were deep scars on his body, the light
was gone from his eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that was
left was the human vessel, our son was gone. He did not even survive the next
week, and died peacefully in his sleep , not even recognizing us till his end .
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
This was an eye opener. Enough was
enough . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
I will not delve into the details
of how that happened , but we managed to escape in the next 3 days. After
spending almost all the money we could muster and calling in favors, we finally
went underground in Bludhaven. Going back to Gotham was too risky for us and
for you and our son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meanwhile, we had
smuggled out our son’s body to be deposited near one of the abandoned league
bases . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Years of collecting intel on the
league proved to be fruitful as this base had one of the last surviving lazarus
pits . Even though the pit was partially destroyed , we were able to use it to
bring our son back . The results were horrific to say the least . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
As with all the victims of the pit,
our son was brought back to life, afflicted with incurable insanity . That was
not even the bad part. We have , till today, no idea of what has been done to
our son under Savage’s direction. But the effect of that and the pit left him
horribly disfigured. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
The next few days were unbearable,
almost as much as when we had to leave Bruce without a word under your care.
Our son seemed to remember us , and then he would suddenly go out ranting and
talking to himself . He refused to look at his disfigured self after the first
day , but he kept referring to himself as a freak of nature. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
This went on , till one day we
found him all dressed up and ready to leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By then we were so emotionally drained that we could not even tell him
to not go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All signs of insanity was
gone from him in that last moment, I still remember his last words to me “ At
least dad, I would always be smiling “ . With a silver glint of tears in his
eyes , he left our safehouse never to be seen again . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
We are writing this letter
primarily to let you know that it is possible that our son might come to visit
our mansion, so please take care of him too which we know you would. Savage’s
fellows are still searching for us so we would be constantly on the move now, a
return address in not required in such a case.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Please forgive us for all the
transgressions we have done, and I hope you would one day understand that all
we did was to make the world a better place. “ <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
With Love<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Thomas Wayne <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Alfred was old, he was old 15
minutes ago when he opened the slightly muddy envelope to read a letter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no turning back now, no more
delays. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
He rushed out from the mansion
after his master, before it was too late <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
It has been years since the plague
known as Joker infected him. No matter how many times he was put away, he
always came back ,came back for more . The Clown Prince of Crime always found
methods to trouble him in the most gruesome way possibly , improving upon it
every single time . The list of victims kept on growing every year; Jason ,
Barbara, Jim, Selina, Dick .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This has
gone long enough . Every time , the clown’s motive was to see me break , see me
cross the line .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has gone far enough
and the time has come to cross it . This time it hit closer to his heart than
before, this time it was Damian. When he rescued Damian from the ruins of Club
Penguin, he thought it was too late. But the kid was tough, tougher than Joker
thought. He survived the blast , he survived the torture, but the damage has
been done. Damian would never walk again, nor would he see. This has hurt him
more than anything , just when he was almost considering laying down the cape
to be with his son. It was time for one last showdown, one last debt to pay,
and then it will be the end. The end of Batman.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Alfred was no master detective, nor
was he physically young. But years spent at Bruce’s side has had its
advantages. The bat computer was secure, very secure, for outsiders. To Alfred <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>, getting the details was simple enough. The
last files accessed, the last known location of the batmobile, the fastest way
there. Ten minutes after he turned on the computer, Alfred was out of the house
, rushing as fast has be can , towards where Bruce has gone, the ruins of the
old Arkham Asylum.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
The Sun was setting over the Gotham
Skyline. The nights were peaceful these days, thanks to the Bat Brigade.
Traffic was minimal too, but it took Alfred quite some time to reach his destination.
The Asylum looked deserted. There were no sounds, no gunshots, no cheers. Just
a heavy silence. He went around the building to the back, and there it was. The
Batmobile was there, headlights glaring onto the courtyard. Once overgrown with
weeds, it was as if a stampede has passed through. The grass were crushed, the
rocks thrown around . A violent struggle has taken place there, the dark red
stains confirming the same. With a heavy heart , he neared the front end of the
car. There they were, both on the ground , both breathing still. With a sigh of
relief, Alfred began moving towards them , but then again , he was never going
to be on time. With a grunt, Batman got to his knees and took out a knife from
his boot. A fine specimen, an assassin’s tool . A gift to the father from the
son. It was fitting in a way, to end the story then. There were no last
requests , there was no redemption . Judge, Jury and Executioner were all the
same , and without a word , Batman plunged the knife down hard onto Joker’s
chest. So hard that Alfred thought he heard the tip hit the stones beneath
them. No surprise laughter, no jokes. The clown looked up at Batman for one
last time. For a second , both Batman and Alfred saw something , something like
tears in his eyes, then it was gone. Those mad eyes closed with one parting
sentence , not directed at Batman but at Alfred who has silently approached
them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“Take care of him Alfred, Bruce
needs you now more than ever” . And then, on this day, the Clown Prince has
passed away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
The journey back was heavy with
silence. No words were required between the two. Back in the cave, Alfred went
back upstairs to get the medicines. On coming back , he saw Bruce starting a
fire, a fire into which went his cape, his mask , his body suit. Batman has
crossed the line, and that means he has to vanish, to end. He kept the
medicines near Bruce and went across to the mini lab, to check if it was over.
He pulled out the sheets , and kept them near Bruce along with the letter.
After the fire was done, he stitched up the battered Bruce and went on his way
upstairs. At the door , he turned back to see him reading the letter . With a
sigh, he went back up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
It was nearly 2 hours before there
was a knock on Alfred’s door. It was Bruce. His face a stone mask, there was
just one question he wanted to ask Alfred. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“Did you check it?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“yes master Bruce” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“And?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“It was positive “<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“Thank you Alfred”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
And then he left . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Joker’s body was found the next day
by a bunch of kids. The news spread like wildfire of the death of Joker. Questions
arose about Batman , about how he has finally gone against what he stood
for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were no answers , there was
no Batman. The GCPD has declared him a vigilante wanted for murder , a shoot at
sight order was issued, but there was no sign of him. Batman has vanished. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
2 months later …<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Gotham has come crashing down after
the death of Joker. The continued absence of Batman has brought out the worst
the city has harbored . Over the years , they had remained silent , hiding in
the shadows. But no more. The city was in chaos, and the police were reduced to
being a joke again. There was no one left to control them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
An old man was sitting staring at
his own face in the mirror. Slowly, he began coloring his hair bright green.
Then it was the face …made chalk white. The grin was the hardest , but he
managed to make it look the same with prosthetics . It took a long time, but it
was done. The man suited up, wearing his purple suit with the pretty flower at
his breast, pin tie and pointed boots. The similarity was there, almost too
similar now that the dresses were also similar. He went inside to say goodbye
to his wife, handing over his wedding ring and pocket watch to her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“You don’t have to do this Thomas”,
she was almost crying . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“No Martha, I have to. The city
needs Batman”, his voice was steady. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“I know , but why does it have to
be you” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
“Because there is no one else, no
one else left. There has to be a Batman in Gotham , and for that there has to
be a Joker . Our son is gone now, time for me to carry on his work . Take care
of yourself “<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
With these parting words he
shuffled out of their house , set far back from any path or road. The farther
he moved away from the house , his gait changed. Gone was the stoop, gone was
the shuffling movement of an old man. The steady steps were taking him to his
destination. Slowly he began to laugh, the maniacal laugh of a deranged mind.
It went up in volume till the whole woods were reverberating with it . And
slowly he walked towards the city, to be there again , as the Clown Prince of
Crime , as the Joker. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
Disclaimer : All the Characters and locations mentioned in the story above are all registered trademarks of Warner Bros Entertainment and DC Comics. This is a pure work of fiction based on my ideas alone and is in no way reflecting on the current and past story lines published by the owners<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-66374575438331016352015-03-29T06:53:00.002-07:002015-03-29T06:53:26.149-07:00Drowning in your love . <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
The cold was never his friend. And
today especially things were not going well. The knee cap has twisted for an
unprecedented 3 times last night and the painkillers were not helping at all.
The fact that he can only rely on his one remaining hand for support made
getting up all the more tedious and almost impossible. After over an hour of
struggle, he managed to drag himself up and the day has slowly begun. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Although hampered by the
misfortunes plaguing him over the last few weeks, there was no change in the
man himself. One cup of strong coffee, 2 cigarettes and he settle down with the
second coffee cup to read the news. That was when the phone rang. Grunting at
the effort, he managed to answer the call, and that is when his world stopped.
It was no tragic news, no calamity has befallen his kin, just a normal greeting
, “Hi T, how are you ? “ spoken in the shy and sweet voice , the one he had
known years ago , the one he thought he had lost . <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
It was in that winter time 7 years
ago that he first met her. The streets were emptying as the day was coming to
an end. Ignoring the cold ,ignoring the rush he just sat there outside the
S-bahn station. No, he wasn’t waiting for the train, nor was he waiting for his
friends. It was just that he was drunk , each step was a pain which finally
made him sit down and try to clear his head before the day descended into
night, for at night the party begins again. He might have dozed off because
when he came to , it was already dark and he was not alone on the bench anymore.
There was someone sleeping next to him, and the wafting smell of alcohol
confirmed that this was another one of the victims of the on going Stuttgart
fest. With some effort he managed to get back up on his feet. Still groggy , he
almost fell back again but steadied himself a mere seconds before he could fall
on his companion in the bench. His near fall and the noise had awakened the
sleeping one and for a second T forgot everything around himself. Gone were the
muddy unclear thoughts rampaging his head, and all he could see was her eyes,
the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, looking up at him , frightened and at
the same time fiery. And that is when he lost the battle and passed out<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
The initial shock has already
passed by the time he regained his consciousness . The girl was still there
,which surprised him but at the same time he was happy she did not leave. Her
words awoke within him a feeling , a feeling of loss and longing and at the
same time , one of peace. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the first time he met Rachel. After the
awkward introductions, the next few days were something he would never forget.
She was a tourism student from Switzerland spending her last year travelling
around Europe. Unlike most people he had met so far, there was something
different about her, something free and wild. With her, he could be what he
truly is , there was no need of masks or false bravado. With her, he was just
T. She matched him drink to drink , jumped around the ice rinks like crazy
people , talked to him when he was in his dark zone, stuck with him through his
craziness and slowly he was falling madly in love with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every moment of his life was centered around
her, her very presence has made his life something he began to cherish. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
It was almost a year after they had
met that his world came crashing down again. She had come into his world like
an angel on a cold winter night , and in another cold winter night she just
vanished, as if no one was ever there. Going crazy by the minute, he kept on
searching for her, a search spanning days , months but to no avail. His
condition deteriorated and it all ended one night when he fell down the
mountainside while searching for her. His legs were broken, ligaments torn, the
doctors diagnosed that he would never walk again. In the phases between
consciousness, pain and the haze of painkillers he thought he saw her again ,
crying near his bed side , and when he woke up there was no one . But there was
a note, one which was written in her own hand , “ I am sorry , please forgive
me “ <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
That was the final nail in his
coffin. The man called T died that day, and gave birth to something different,
something normal. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
The story goes on from then,
partially recovered he returned home and the journey began again. Working days,
wild sleepless nights, the days went on. Before he knew it 7 years have passed
and there he stood hold the phone , almost shivering, looking like the boy from
7 years ago, lost in her voice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
The conversation was forced and
formal but under the words there was a torrent of emotions that he was not sure
he could control. She wanted to see him , and God how long he had waited for
those words. Every second seemed like hours to him , the wait now was
agonizing. He reached the coffee shop an hour early, and his heart skipped a
beat when he saw she was already there , waiting for him . No words were
necessary , every thing just melted away. It was just him and her and at that
moment it was as if no time has passed. Just the two of them , and the world
they made for themselves. Every word, every look , every touch was
electrifying. Two people were finally finding themselves again , after getting
lost in the bowels of time . The search was finally over. She accompanied him
home, he never asked her what happened that day long ago, nothing seemed
important now . All he could think of was that she was back in his arms, her
smile his own , his life hers to command. Once home , he hurried in to clear a
path through the debris but she stopped him, said “I am so sorry T “ and kissed
him. He was surprised but he kissed her back , a long passionate kiss , which
left them both winded. He gently untangled himself from her arms and went to
get her a drink. He was smiling , gone was the weary eyed angry young man that
his co-workers feared, gone was the bleary eyed drunkard haunting the bars
across the city. He was back to all that time ago, young and in love , his eyes
shining with life and hope. He was still smiling when the knife slashed his
throat . He was still smiling when she turned him over and started stabbing
him, all he could see was her eyes, her lovely green eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
The Stutter Times : March 30<sup>th</sup>
2015 <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
The quiet neighborhood of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Santa street was shocked at the events that
happened last night making this one of their most horrific memories in recent
times. The body of Mr.T , one of the city’s upcoming novelists was found
crucified to the side of his apartment building. The discovery of the body was
made by the window cleaner who was setting up his equipment when he came across
this gruesome scene. Police and fire force have come and took down the body.
The cause of death at this point is not clear but it is suspected that extreme
blood loss<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>has resulted in his death.
His throat was slashed and there were countless stabs on his body any of which
would have made him bled out. His face was a mask of pure bliss and joy ,
something which disturbed even the seasoned veterans of the force. The smile
was genuine, the happiness in his long dead eyes were infectious.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
The fact that made this even more horrifying
is the fact that not a single drop of blood was found anywhere in his apartment
or near the building except the dried smudges on his clothes. The authorities
refused to comment <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Special correspondent. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
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slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-88306008588978537992014-07-03T20:36:00.001-07:002014-07-03T20:36:21.846-07:00If only...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The
rain has been falling non-stop for about a couple of hours now. The fact that
it is still raining meant he would be late today, again. Lenient as he is , he
was sure his superior would one day run out of patience. Late to work ,early to
leave, unplanned time offs in between; anyone in his right mind would have
blown his fuse by now. Strangely things have been pretty smooth so far. He knew
that one day it will all come to an end, all that is left would be to pray that
it is not today.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Thoughts
of work have been distracting him for a while now but since then a certain aura
of calmness seemed to descend on him. There was nothing he could do, the rain
will not stop and without any protection he was not going to venture out from
under the building. It was a stale mate, the one he believed he is enjoying
quite a bit. Having come to the realization that he would be there for a while,
he settled down to sit upon an old but still sturdy stool there and started to
just look around a bit. In this part of town , being stuck out in the rain is
one of the worst possible scenarios you can get into. Everyone goes inside
their houses and shuts themselves in, the shops close down, and even the taxis
stop running. Now how he ended up in this neighborhood is still a mystery.
Until three months ago he was a proud owner of a tiny villa up river and had a
handsome sum tucked away in various accounts across different banks. It started
as a rain then too, a drop, a few drops and then came the rushing torrent of
flood water that leveled his place and almost took him with it. With a
grittiness unheard of people like him, he had clawed his way back from the
depths and snatched his life away from the whirlpools threatening to silence
him forever. The story ran for a week in the local edition papers till they
found greener pastures to explore their creativity into. So from a fairly
successful member of the society he had become a suffering survivor of one of
the nature’s freak ‘accidents’. The celebrity status for the one that was
alive, netted him some amount of money which when put together with all he had
saved so far left him with a not too shabby amount, one which would not allow
him to go back to his life before but would get him the big but lonely mansion
at this part of the town. And there he is now. In a place where people even
view rains as a stranger to be wary of, he has started the second phase of his
life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There
were no regrets, no broken hearts he left behind when he decided to relocate.
The only regret was his own , the only broken heart was his own heart. The day
it all came down was just a week away from when he was getting ready to pop the
question to Sally. It was not love, no ; it was something more, it was a
connection he had felt when he was with her. Love is never blind, deaf and
dumb, she knew he was ‘loaded’ and he knew she considered money as one of his
attractive qualities. It was more of a comfortable arrangement but deep in his
heart, he was deeply madly in love with her. The fact that she did not even
come to see him once while he was in the hospital did not disturb him one bit.
What finally tore him apart was the fact that she had left a message for him
with her friend. There were no goodbyes, no anger, just a business letter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>“Dear Dave,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It seems things have
become a bit tedious for us now since you have lost everything. I do not blame
you for what happened but at the same time I have to think about my future too.
While you were recuperating I have met with a very nice gentleman called Victor
who seems to be smitten with me. Since there is nothing more to look forward to
after you have been released from the hospital, I am not sticking around.
Victor and I are leaving for Canada this weekend. Hope you recover well<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Sally. “<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The letter,
though worded simply, tore him into pieces. His sudden craving of solitude was
the driving factor for finally settling down in this little corner of the
world. There were days when he used to dream about her, dreams of a future he
never had, but slowly they also faded. The memories were still there but they
have started to look like old photographs, becoming less clear with each
passing day. Deep down he still missed her, sometimes a smiled flashed on a
colleague, and a word or a gesture would painfully remind him of her. Emotions
would begin to flood his mind till he was sure he would drown , well almost
drown, again. It had caused him a lot of trouble but gradually he managed to
bring them down and be normal. The memories, the pain, the agony, all have
become a part of him, a part he kept locked up inside; hidden behind a well
crafted mask of indifference.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The rain
shows no sign of stopping. The time for work has now passed and there was no
point in going all the way like a wet cat to spend a few hours before
travelling back all the way to his house again. The walk to his place took
hardly 10 minutes; still he was drenched by the time he climbed up the stairs
to his front door. The lights blinked on when he got inside, even though the
house was a bit old, it still had some of the distinctive features found in
most modern apartments. An intercom connected to the gate, automatic light
sensors etc. He began climbing up the stairs to his first floor bedroom with a
cheerful “Honey, I am home!” Slowly he reached
his bedroom and opened the door. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You know, I thought a lot about you today Sally, how I
almost lost you and then how fate brought us back together. I just had to come
see you after that”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He walked up to the female human head mounted on his bed room
wall and slowly patted its head. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Now now, don’t be all angry with me. I promise I will go to
work tomorrow “<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hair had begun to fall down from the head. The mild smell of
decay made him wrinkle his nose in disgust.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh Sally my dear, I believe you have been a naughty little
girl. Now that you started smelling like last time, I might have to replace
you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He picked up the head, went to the window and threw it out
into the dark as far as he could.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight he has to work. Preparations have to be made. The
heads are lasting longer now but he still could not preserve them enough to
make them stay as long as he wanted. As per the plan he had charted out,
tonight would be Sally for when she was young, very young, maybe sixteen. The
younger they are, the longer the heads last. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He slowly climbed down and went out again, the rain did not
seem to bother him. Tonight he will meet with another Sally again. Double-checking
whether he had the bag with his tools and the map of the neighboring university
area, he started walking slowly to the campus grounds.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And in another twelve hours news began spreading of the 8<sup>th</sup>
student to be gone missing from the campus, never to be found again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-19590671299071525582014-06-30T02:47:00.003-07:002014-06-30T02:47:48.064-07:00A Chocolate Heart<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> He
looked around. There was no one in sight. The only sounds were the whirring
noises of the fans. He fast approached the desk he was aiming for. Making sure
that there was no one sneaking upon him he placed the package on the desk and
ran away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> 2
hours later: Veena has just reached office. Today was the same. There was the
parcel on her desk today also, a carefully wrapped box of heart shaped
chocolates. She was surprised the first time it happened around a year ago but
since then has tried to track down who was responsible for this. But all her
efforts were in vain and the boxes keep appearing. They were really good
chocolates and she had tried to find out the brand or the manufacturer but
finally realized that they were homemade. The past few months she had given up
trying to find out who her benefactor is and have enjoyed just eating them,
those lovely little chocolate hearts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> He
was watching her from a few cubicles away. He saw her smile when she found the
box and his heart skipped a beat. She was lovely; the way her face brightens up
when she breaks into a smile would lift his spirits in the darkest of days. He
first saw her little over a year ago when he transferred to this location. She
was the one in charge of introducing him to his new colleagues and it was love
at first sight. He began talking to her, hanging out around her and in time
they became very close friends. But he never had the courage to speak his mind
to her, never got the proper words to convey his feelings for her. It was not
just love, it was something really special. That was when he decided upon the
idea of chocolates. Veena was a die-hard chocolate junkie, and there lay his
chances. He began making small batches of chocolates; the little heart shaped
ones and once he had become good at it, started leaving boxes of them at her
desk. He had not hoped to continue doing this for so long, but he kept
postponing his plans of telling her. She used to ask him at first whether he
had seen anyone leave the boxes. Although it was painful to lie to her, he
maintained a straight face and told her he didn’t. He even went as far as to
make fun of her for having a secret admirer. Half hoping she would find out the
truth, he had kept going for so long but was disappointed when she stopped searching.
That is when he decided the time has come to finally tell her the truth.
Tomorrow is as good a day as any. It is Valentine ’s Day, the day of love and
he had been preparing for some time. This time he made a big chocolate heart,
one of his best works and was planning on giving it to her tomorrow. The
anticipation, the reaction he might get from her, all of it was having its
effect on him. He was so out of it that he deliberately tried to keep out of
her way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> He managed to evade her till
evening. His attempts were also helped by the fact that she had too much work
to do. But as his day was ending, he got a message from her. “<i>Meet
me urgently near the garden benches. It’s about my admirer ;)”.</i> His heart
stopped for a bit, then started beating faster<i>. “Oh my God she found out. What will I tell her, how will I tell her?”</i>
He began panicking. The location also was un-nerving. The benches were hangouts
for the couples in the company and in the evenings once can always find love
blooming under the setting sun around those benches. Both of them have seen and
laughed at the love struck couple there but now a meeting at the very same
spot? He contemplated not going but then again it would not serve any purpose.
Why postpone the inevitable? He replied <i>“Ok”</i>
and walked ever so slowly to the benches. He saw her even before she saw him.
The flowing hair, the graceful figure, the spot of sunshine on a darkening
skyline. And then she saw him and her face lit up with a smile. He felt his
heart beating faster, and was aware of a mild sheet of sweat on his brow. This
is silly, he thought and went ahead to meet her. Even before he reached her,
she ran forward and hugged him. He was taken aback. This is not what he
expected. His heart felt like it had a life of its own and was beating hard as
if to tear out of his chest. His body became tense, he started sweating. But
within all this there was a feeling of relief, of a huge burden being lifted.
Finally it is over, no more sneaking around office in the morning to drop the boxes
off. No more staying up all night making the chocolates. It’s all over now. She
took a couple of steps back and started talking. <i>“I finally found the secret admirer.”</i> Her eyes were wide and they
looked happy, deep happy eyes. He finally understood what heaven feels like. He
was lost in his own thoughts, when she shook him. “<i>You heard what I said?” “What?”</i> he broke out of his reverie with a
start. <i>“I said this is Vinod, my secret
admirer.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> The
scream of pain was inside his head. The heart that was beating so fast for her
was shattered to a million pieces. I looked behind and saw Vinod approaching. <i>“Hi Raju, Hey darling” “Hey”</i> she
crooned. He was speechless. The words seemed to come from far away. Veena was
telling about how she found Vinod around her desk during the break and how he
was acting a bit suspicious and how she had forced him into a corner and
finally he breaking down and accepting that he is in fact the secret admirer
and he made those chocolates himself<i>.
“You know Vinod , Raju was the first one to suggest that the chocolates would
be from a secret admirer” “Is it? Wow man I thought I had gotten away with it
too, if she hadn’t caught me today”</i> They were still talking, completing
sentences, how the chocolates were so good. He did not listen to any of this.
The pain was unbearable. His eyes burned, but tears did not come. He felt
empty, like his whole life, his being was sucked out. He couldn’t breathe,
couldn’t speak, it was all over. With supreme effort he made an excuse about
some call and walked back. Did she call him back? He didn’t care, it was all
over. The tears that he kept in check began flowing. And he ran and ran and
ran. Tears did not stop; it was still flowing when he finally reached his
place. The chocolate heart he made for her was on the table, staring at him
like an ugly eye, a bitter reminder of how he lost. With an anguished cry he
fell down on the floor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">The Times. February 14, 2013. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> The
body of Veena Sharma who was missing from yesterday night onwards have been
found in the Central Park. An employee of xxx company for the last 3 years, she
was reported missing by her parents when she failed to comeback from work. She
was found by an early morning jogger today. On preliminary examination, it was
found that she had been strangled. What made this scene gruesome was the fact
that her heart had been cut out and replaced with a big chocolate heart. Upon
collecting evidence from the scene of crime, the police have found an employee
id belonging to one Mr.Raju Sundaram. They had traced the id to the home of the
said individual. Receiving no response, the police broke down the door to find
Raju in a catatonic stage sitting on the dining table with the missing heart of
Veena and a bloody knife in front of him. Police have taken him into custody
for further questioning although the police appointed psychiatrist is of the
opinion that it was next to impossible to get anything out from him. This has
become another one of those cases where a promising life of a young woman was
cut short by a deranged individual. Veena’s parents were not available for
comments after Raju’s arrest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Special correspondent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><i>“Honey did you know
this Veena woman?”</i> asked Meena to her husband. <i>“She works in the same company as you” “No, never seen her before in my
life. Who is she? What happened?”</i> asked Vinod. <i>“No nothing, another woman murdered by a failed lover maybe. They
should be hanged you know. So are you sure you are not coming?” “No Meena, I
got to finish up on the laundry today or else there would not be anything to
wear tomorrow.” “Ok then, see you soon”</i> and Meena left for work. Vinod
waited till her car was out of sight before taking out the garbage bag from the
lowest drawer. <i>“The jeans can be saved
with washing, but the shirt is a goner. She fought like a tigress, but then she
was never going to win. Should have waited a bit more before cutting out the
heart though, it was too bloody this time; and it was my favorite shirt too.“</i>
Vinod sighed. And then the smile came back <i>“Thank
you Raju, I just loved your chocolates”</i>. With the smile still on his lips
he walked out into the backyard to add the bag to the already burning pile of
garbage there.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment--></h2>
</div>
slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-57785051851430178792012-02-06T00:07:00.000-08:002012-02-06T00:07:23.169-08:00The Descent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVzzemw-cmDZUWB9UFnh1WO3_5eyutMD2naGV8K0FNVqZ4OsrHmHtP1-bmyoFdXcFm4rDh7u4SJM_o-D19ixIt2-II7XwPpo1SN3sWWf7OzISqV3ZuBmkWPwwf6t_JHmpccMuB4w/s1600/stairs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVzzemw-cmDZUWB9UFnh1WO3_5eyutMD2naGV8K0FNVqZ4OsrHmHtP1-bmyoFdXcFm4rDh7u4SJM_o-D19ixIt2-II7XwPpo1SN3sWWf7OzISqV3ZuBmkWPwwf6t_JHmpccMuB4w/s1600/stairs.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 0:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bad hangover from yesterday. Got to go to work today. Woke
up late. One hour, I must be out of house by then.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Brushed, skipped on bath and breakfast. Got ready. Lighted
the cigarette. Ah..finally some peace.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bad day at work. Need to unwind and fast. Gets out of office
at lunch. Skipped lunch. Lighted the cigarette. Damn, I needed that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Took half day leave. Went home. Hot day to walk. Drank a
bottle of coke, lighted a cigarette. Hmm, cigarettes with coke is tasting good.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Party time tonight. Drinking rum and coke. Lighted a
cigarette. Drank rum, lighted cigarette, drank rum, lighted another cigarette,
drank rum, lighted another cigarette and another....and another and
another....and....passed out</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 1:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Damn woke up late today. Called in sick at work. Painful
headache. Lighted a cigarette. Its already afternoon. Called restaurant for
home delivery. Ordered another pack of cigarettes. Ate a late lunch. Lighted
another cigarette. Drank left over rum from yesterday. Feeling sleepy. Lighted
another cigarette. Went to sleep</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 2:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Too tired to get up. Bad case of cough and cold. Lighted a
cigarette. Smoke feels good on my throat. Ordered same food as yesterday,
Ordered another pack of cigarettes. Call came from manager at work. Cut the
call and kept phone on silent mode. Ate food. Too tired to stay up any more.
Lighted another cigarette. Feeling very tired. Went back to sleep</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 3:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up, its late afternoon already. Was up coughing all
night. Could not sleep well. Feeling tired again. Got up. Lighted a cigarette.
Throat feels raw. Smoke seems to clear it. Lighted another cigarette , and
another, and another. Feeling a bit better. Running low on cash. Walked to the
nearby ATM. Bought cough syrup. Went to restaurant, had only soup. Bought a
pack of cigarettes. Reached home. It was a tiring day. Lighted a cigarette.
Throat feels a bit better already. Drank the cough syrup. Fell asleep on chair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 4:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up and still on the chair. Neck hurts a lot , cannot
turn my head. Lights a cigarette. Drank left over coke. Lights another
cigarette. Drank cough syrup. Checked phone and saw there were many missed
calls, mostly from work. Turned mobile off. Out of cigarettes again. Went out
and bought a carton of cigarettes. Lights a cigarette. Not hungry, but in a mood
to drink. Went out and bought rum and coke. Hot day. Lights another cigarette.
Drinking early today. Music must be played. Slayer singing “Dead Skin Mask” in
the background. Lights a cigarette , drink rum, lights another cigarette,
drinks rum, lights another .....drinks....lights.....passed out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 5:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Too sick to get up. Finally got on my feet, feels like
throwing up. Threw up in the kitchen sink. Lights a cigarette. Bad taste in
mouth, feeling sick again. Cough syrup almost over. Drank cough syrup with rum.
Still throat burns. Applies Vicks vaporub on the cigarette and smoked. Feeling
better now. Smoke clears my throat. Too tired to go out. Watched TV, not hungry
at all. Lights another cigarette. Tried to order food, but no cash. Decides to
fast. Lights a cigarette. Head spinning. Had a paracetamol. Not working. Drank
the last of cough syrup with last of rum. Fell asleep on chair again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 6:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Opened eyes. Too tired to get up. Lights a cigarette. Fell
asleep with cigarette in hand</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 7:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up. Dry throat. Cannot open eyes properly. Lights a
cigarette. Tries to throw up, nothing happens . Stomach cramps and head aches
are troubling. Lights a cigarette, not helping, lights another one. Feeling
hungry , tried ordering food. Restaurant is closed, too tired to try calling
another place. Lights a cigarette. Ate left over Lays from 2 days back. Lights
a cigarette. Tired again, goes to bed to try to sleep. Hungry to sleep well,
lights another cigarette, and another ....and another....pass out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 8:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up. House is
dark. No idea what time it is. Turned light on. Lights a cigarette. Someone is
knocking on the door. Not feel like answering. Checked phone, turned it on. Not
turning on, its out of battery charge. Too tired to get the charger, too tired.
Lights another cigarette. Goes back to bed to sleep again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 9:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up. Someone is carrying me Feels like a kidnapping.
Tried to shout but no sound comes out. Falls out of bed, bad dream. Too nervous
to go back to sleep. Lights a cigarette. Hands are shaking. Lights another
cigarette. Thinking about food, but not very hungry. Lights another cigarette.
Searched house for something to drink. Little bit of rum left. Had it with
water. Lights another cigarette. Feels like throwing up again. Ignored. Lights
another cigarette, not feeling well, lights another one. Back to bed, fell
asleep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 10:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Opened eyes. Vision is kind of blurry. Bright and dark at
the same time. Room stinks. Body stinks. Clothes stinks. Breath stinks. Tried
to get up to wash and change. Too much of effort. Sat down on the floor. Too
tired to get up again. Lights a cigarette. Smoke clearing up vision. Bad breath
is a memory. Smoke smells good. Lights up another cigarette, and another, and
another....passes out on floor.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 11:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up. Still on the floor. Throat itches. Searching for
cigarettes, last pack opened. Lights a cigarette. Need to buy more while going
out for food. Lights another one, could not finish it. Drank water, fell asleep
again</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day 12:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up. Lights a cigarette. Checks for coke, nothing left
in the bottle. Lights a cigarette. Not feeling ok. Packet of cigarettes is
over. Tried to find another one, cannot find a single cigarette. Found half
smoked one from yesterday, lights it. Smoke feels good. I need more, more
cigarettes, need to find more. Passes out</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Day xxx:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Woke up. Feels like been asleep for quite a long time. Dark
all around. May be power failure. Too tired to move or talk. Tried finding the
cigarettes, not around anymore. Tried lifting myself up. Banged head on
something. Wood. Pushes it with both hands, not moving. Tries harder. Searches around for my lighter.
Hand hits my body, sick sound. Panic sets in. Pushes harder. Small glimmer or
light. Puts hand near light. It passes through completely. White bone staring
at me. Smacks on head to clear thoughts. Sick sound of bone against bone. Bones
on skull, sounds so so...sick.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">“SILENT SCREAM OF PAIN”</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>Am I dead or Am I alive?? Buddy, you have a cigarette for
me?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-71715279584726588592011-11-02T03:28:00.000-07:002011-11-02T03:28:32.398-07:00Hunt<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF-5pa0hJ1mknPOvU5oiKO8NXnmR_SIiAxGOT8pQYhF7mgpucNNV6r88fQd8WfUbIqnlyH6vIp0z-6K888hyphenhyphenftGpvVALXNlA7lA2SAhVw8LJSRnGEOIUyGELVUjg9RomucQ3CArg/s1600/vAMP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF-5pa0hJ1mknPOvU5oiKO8NXnmR_SIiAxGOT8pQYhF7mgpucNNV6r88fQd8WfUbIqnlyH6vIp0z-6K888hyphenhyphenftGpvVALXNlA7lA2SAhVw8LJSRnGEOIUyGELVUjg9RomucQ3CArg/s1600/vAMP.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a still night inside the compound. For an abandoned
location, it had some well trimmed lawns. There were no sounds at all, in
itself it was creepy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No insect sounds,
no cries of the night birds. It was like a void in this normal world. Fear gripped
our hearts but it was too late to turn back now. The slow progress till the
main entrance was uneventful. The door was old, but it opened up without a
sound. It was strange that such a place has not been locked up. The dark interiors
conveyed the image of being very spacious but at the same time, strangely
empty. Flashlights came out and we started our exploring. The place was clean,
a little too clean with no signs of abandonment anywhere. There were no furniture,
no pictures on the wall. The only item left which showed that the place was
once inhabited was a worn out rug in the main hall. We decided to stop running
around aimlessly and camp out there on the rug.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>Night
came without an incident. The fluttering fear that we had began ebbing down.
Slowly we made a circle and broke open our picnic basket. Although conversation
was slow to start, it soon picked up pace. From trying to calm each other and
convince them that there was nothing to fear, we came to the situation where
each one of us was trying our best to scare their mates with the most
horrifying stories they know. Being the newest member of the group, I was being
targeted by the others. We were down to survival tactics in case of a ghost
attack & I was given the role of the bait. Being the little fat guy that I
am, I was perfect. Hungry ghosts can have a feast on my flesh & blood and
still have some leftovers for the next day. Good case since it would allow
others to escape safely while they are feeding on me. I did not care to disagree;
they had a point after all. Time dragged on, stories became mumblings, and one
by one we started falling asleep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>The
first one to go missing that night was Terry. Not used to sleeping on the
floor, he had decided to stretch his legs a bit before trying to sleep again.
The moment he left our circle, it felt as if a huge shadow had descended on us.
All the lamps and flashlights went out. This sudden development threw us into frenzy,
we panicked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before we could react, an
inhuman scream echoed across the house. And the lamps came on as suddenly as
they had vanished. I could feel the cold sweat pouring down my back, the
dryness in my throat. With shaking hands, partly with fear and partly with
excitement, I drank my drink. But even after this, I was unable to find my
voice to call out to others. The lights went out again and this time chaos
erupted. There were cries from all around me. I was unable to react, unable to
cry. In the middle there were hands grabbing my feet, my arms only to be
violently ripped away. The screams continued and with it there was something
new, a bitter-sweet coppery smell permeated the air. I knew what it was, the
smell of blood. I did not want to be a part of this, it was all a bad dream. I
need to get out and fast, all I could do was to drink and drink again and hope
I would pass out before I felt any pain. Dizziness came over me but I drank and
drank till nothing was left. The hands have begun to brush against my body
again. Unable to move, I collapsed on the floor, waiting for the fate to
deliver what she had planned for me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>It
had been a long time since he had taken his original form. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The shadow of the smile on his face suggested
that he was genuinely pleased. He walked without a sound, more floating than actually
walking. There was a strange grace to his movements. The sun was just rising
and Old man Wilbur has just opened his coffee shop when the man came in. He
went to the seat nearest to the counter and sat down. Wilbur wanted to tell him
the shop was not yet open but somehow he did not feel like denying this young
man. He had such amazing eyes, childish yet weight of ages danced around in
them. Shuffling to the table, he passed the menu to the young one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>The
night was very long but finally the sun was up. I left my fat frame behind and
walked back to the town. Wilbur was just opening his cafe and I went in. For a
moment I thought he would throw me out but he didn’t. I needed to be as far
away from the door as possible so I went to the seat nearest to the counter.
Wilbur gave me the menu but I wasn’t hungry. Coffee was the only thing I
needed, busy nights always left me with a little bit of a headache. Wilbur
shuffled away to get my coffee. Staring at the town’s populace moving through
the glass doors I knew it was time. The kids were pretty popular in this place
and their absence would be noted. A detailed investigation would be
inconvenient at this point in time. Another change of location was required. It
needs to be far away from my usual hunting grounds. I looked at the crumpled
brochure in my jacket pocket. A little sunny but sun do not bother me anymore.
The place was far, sunny and quiet, just like home. I need to get there before
the thirst rose again. In the morning rays the dirty golden letters on the
brochure glinted -“Goa Institute of Management”. Yes, this would be a good
place for me. The hunt has begun.</div>
</div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-92112201774987977512011-08-25T10:23:00.001-07:002011-08-25T10:23:54.255-07:00Hunger The first cut was the sweetest sight to behold.The smooth white skin, a line of red forms in the middle and then like a glorious fountain the blood gushes out.Blood is messy, tough to clean. But without this much blood , the art of cutting flesh has no beauty in it. There is no challenge.Cutting up someone without fear of them dying of blood loss. Avoiding major blood vessels and cutting deep and sharp.It was messy at first but through practice she had perfected this art.
<br /> Today it was the delicacy - the fingers.Long, beautiful and delicate, them are one of the tastiest morsels you can find.Taste comes at a price though, they are tough to cut up cleanly.There must be the right amount of meat and the right amount of bone, just like chicken.It was not the fingers alone which captured her attention.The fingers first and then along with them,the meaty hand.Till wrist would serve as the best appetizer she had cooked in a while. Although she preferred some parts raw, experience had taught her that cooking the fingers and hands imparts a specific flavor and taste to them that is unparalleled.With her hands quivering with anticipation, she watched as the blood drained from her first cut.And she felt really good, for the first time in months.
<br /> Blood finally stopped.Now it was time for the cutting to start. Glistening butcher knives were arranged neatly by her side. She selected the sharpest one among them, the cuts have to be clean and precise. When it started, the hand always gave her trouble, it was tough to get a clean cut. But then once in an inspired moment she discovered the secret. The hand is just like a carrot...you cut from one end fast and not stopping and then carry on till the end.In 2 minutes, it was ready. It was surprising to see that it took her this long to figure this out but today she was going to be at her best. This time there would be no mistakes.The knife came down on the fingers with a "swoosh". And a precise delicate piece of finger just jumped off seperated on the table. Blood spurted out, washing her face and hair. The sweet coppery taste of blood excited her. The primal instincts arose..like a maniac she started chopping. Each stroke precise and measure, and with no hesitation. She had to stop herself at the wrist, it was feeling so good to just continue chopping. But she knew that she must stop, the wrist and rest of the arms are for later in the day, not now. All around were pieces of flesh that once formed a hand.
<br /> Licking off the blood from her lips she started cleaning the pieces. Her own skill amazed her, the pieces were neat crisp and clean.She preferred cooking them with the nails on, they can be removed later. Dumping the bloodied knife in the bowl she arranged the pieces on the now cleaned cutting board. It was difficult to see the pattern but it somehow resembled carrots rather than human fingers.Various receipes flashed through her mind about what to make them into today. She tried getting the pieces into the over. Keeping the door open with one hand, she reached for the bowl but instead she knocked it over.A curse escaped from her lips.In that moment, she became just another normal woman cursing her clumsiness,but then it happened. That moment of normalcy is all it took to make her jump back in horror at that single thought...
<br />" How am I supposed to cook with only one hand now ? "
<br />slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-33947565383574996702010-09-15T02:52:00.000-07:002010-09-15T02:56:51.349-07:00LostNightmare keep disrupting my sleep<div>They make me wake up and weep</div><div>Its been years , but still it stings</div><div>And I am now a puppet who lost his strings</div><div>Losing count of days and knights</div><div>Wishing I had a party of golden knights</div><div>To bring my angel back to my side</div><div>To die again in her eyes, bright and wide.</div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-12619638546079420022010-09-06T09:57:00.000-07:002010-09-06T10:28:32.600-07:00not decided on a title yet :(<div><p class="MsoNormal">Alone I stand among the dead,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Single survivor of the army I once led,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">What went wrong, when it came </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The end of my time, its end game .</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Finally my journey ends here</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Without her to hold me near</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Years wasted for a fruitless search</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Still she is out of my reach.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fires still rage on the black peak</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fueled by the blood of both bold and meek</p> <p class="MsoNormal">On top of it all she lives alone,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Inside the tower made of black stone.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I hear their cries, the clash of steel</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Her minions closing in for their next meal</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I feel the cold biting breeze</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Causing all my senses to freeze</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There she was, my lovely Ice Queen</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Still like an angel, how long has it been</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Her once lovely eyes are no more</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Only crystals, frozen to the core.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">A smile plays on her lips</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fills me with a familiar feeling of bliss</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Her voice tears into my heart, sharper than a lance </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Against that, I never stood a chance.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Words flowed into my near deaf ears</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Oh dear Ralph, it has been years</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Have you come to carry me away?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Or is my life still in your way? “</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Gathering my last breath I yell</p> <p class="MsoNormal">With a voice that could be heard till hell</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">“It’s time for you to sleep dear,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">And I will end my life here “.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">Her cold voice shatters the silence <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">And her words confirmed that I lost my chance<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">“Why do<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>you do this to me ?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">Why can’t you just let me be ?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">Times have changes, so did I<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">It’s time my dear, to say goodbye. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">There was a time when I waited for a day<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">When you would come to take me away<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">Not any more love, your time is past<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">Here in these lands you will breathe your last. “<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">As I close my tired eyes,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">All I see is her face wreathed in ice<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">Farther down into darkness I fall<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">Bouncing around like a lifeless doll<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">My heart burning with her last few words<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">“Oh but I still love you among all the lords”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">A single teardrop falls on my scarred chest<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin">At last I smile, perhaps it was all for the best.</span></p></div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-71237031276531066732010-09-06T09:56:00.001-07:002010-09-06T09:57:34.301-07:00Random Thoughts<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">for a sight, a touch and a smile</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">my journey still lasts many a mile</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">was it worth leaving my sanity ?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">to cater to whims of my vanity</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">days grow cold, nights are colder </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">me n death walk shoulder to shoulder </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">guilt and desire pushes me forward</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">while my heart hides like a coward</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">dreadful darkness seeps from the void</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">condemning us to a fate we can't avoid.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">She comes to me in my dreams</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">But still she seems so far away</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">For as long as the soul music goes on</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">This dance of ours will be going on.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-43757165334535563192010-08-08T04:29:00.000-07:002010-08-08T04:40:53.754-07:00maybe.........just maybe<div style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 13px;" id="songlyrics" align="left">I'd stay the hand of god, but the war is on your lips<br />How can I brace myself for razor blades on whips<br />When everything with meaning is shattered, broken, screaming<br />And I'm lost inside this darkness and I fear I won't survive<br /><br />I could pray and trick with a double tongue, but the only fool here's me<br />I choose the way to go, but the road won't set me free<br />Cos I wish you'd see me, baby, save me, I'm going crazy<br />Tryin' to keep us real, keep us alive<br /><br />This day will die tonight and there ain't no exception<br />We shouldn't wait for nothing to wait for<br />Love me in this fable, babe, my heart is in your hand<br />Our time is waiting right outside your door<br />And maybe tomorrow is a better day<br /><br />I do not deal the cards and I play a lousy hand<br />I celebrate no victories and my promises are sand<br />Against all this I contrast you, when all is lost the war is through<br />Hey angel, dare the winds now we can fly<br /><br />This day will die tonight and there ain't no exception<br />Why should I wait for nothing to wait for<br />Let me love you in this fable, hold your heart in my hand<br />Our time is waiting right outside your door<br />And maybe tomorrow is a better day<br /><br />This day will die tonight and there ain't no exception<br />Why should I wait for nothing to wait for<br />I won't cry for my solitude, lay my head and dream of you<br />And hope that you'll come knocking on my door<br />And maybe tomorrow is a better day<br />I know tomorrow is a better day</div> <script type="text/javascript"> gE('songlyrics').innerHTML = gE('songlyrics_h').innerHTML; if (typeof startSignatureInsert === 'function') { startSignatureInsert(); } </script> <div style="border: medium none ; overflow: hidden; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Courtesy</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">poets of the fall - Maybe tomorrow is a better day</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">well i sure hope so</span><br /></div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-24192493631949165752009-01-01T07:12:00.000-08:002009-01-01T07:23:17.323-08:00QuestionAnd another year passes by...... (1985-2008) was my plan.<br />But this last year, there were many instances,people i came to know who made this life worth living.So the date extended beyond the planned year.<br /><br />A new year 2009 has begun. Jan 1st 2009, the first day for a new beginning, to put things in order, to get a hold of my life, to bring it back on track. Putting the bitter past behind me i started upon this wonderful day full of hope, full of confidence and determination.<br /><br />Now within a span of mere one hour, i now return to where i was a few months ago, still a hallucinating screaming maniac who have no idea what to make of his futile existence.<br /><br />I know hardly 2 people are going to read all this bullshit i am writing called "My Blog" but i do not care. This message is for whomever reading this.<br />If you do not know me, then please close this window and stop reading then and there.<br /><br />Ok here goes. Any one of you are welcome to give me one F****** good reason to stay alive and get through this year are welcome to comment on this and give me the reason for i think i just ran out of reasons to extend the existence of this being made of flesh (and a HUGE amount of FAT).<br />This is not a plea for help. It is just that i am curious if anyone know any reason for me being here, thats all. Always good to listen to what others say as you may learn something new which you had no idea about till then.<br />Once again people, just let me know.<br />I will be waiting, though for how long is another thing to be decided.Guess that part i can decide on my own. LOL<br /><br />Signing off......sayonara<br /><br />PS: if its spiritual advice you are giving, then at least prepare for a debate with me on that issue.I just love arguing.slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-83032715071584523962008-12-29T10:28:00.001-08:002008-12-29T10:29:42.536-08:00The Christmas Gift<div style="font-family: arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;" ><span style="">The stage was set for the final act of the evening.I missed the entire show so it was important to me to witness atleast the final section.Any other show i would not even have bothered to get out of my place being this late but this one was special.It was the Survivor.Of the world corporation studios.The last act is always special and is not at all related to the previous acts.For this part of the show.a very active participation is required from its employees,obviously without their consent.For this special segment,the tickets alone are worth a small fortune.Not that i had that much money but it has been my desire to be a witness to this atleast once and lucky for me that i came into some quick cash which i used to purchase the last available ticket for the christmas show.Yes, tonight is december 24th,the night before christmas and for that same reason,the rush was enormous as something special was planned tonight,something that was going to capture the attention of the entire media.I joined the flowing crowd moving towards the theatre.Along with many others, i was handed the standard leaf about the show.</span></span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> THE SURVIVOR</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> This is a show which you have never seen before and never will see again.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> The rules are simple,stay alive and survive.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> IF you die,then bad luck</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> IF you survive, then you will be the richest person alive.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> IF you want to participate,you are welcome to try.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> We are not responsible for your well being in this show.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> You think you can do it?</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> Come Watch, then answer.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> There is always a survivor. </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> ps: noone has survived ever in the show's history</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> Ok,not so encouraging flier but still the show garners such a huge reaction from the public.There has been only 2 voluntary competitors and both of them didnot even last the first 10 minutes.Hopefully this time it would be different.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> I hurried to my seat at the back of the theatre.It was always better to get the last seat.You can watch the show and can close your eyes if you feel it is too much for you.And obviously its the cheaper seat :D .Anyway i made way to my seat and found that whatever i heard was true.There on my seat was written the label " Reserved for John Wayne Robinson ".It was as well organised as i have heard.I hurried into my seat and got ready for it to begin.There was just 2 min left and the entire theatre was packed.The music began, the drum rolls sending chills down my spine.Tonight was going to be very special,you can fell it in the air inside.I felt the guy sitting to my left tense.I noticed that like him i was also clenching my fists,tensed but eager.Poof and it was darkness.The announcement began.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">"Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,tonight we promised to be special and it is.Today there is not going to be a survivor.Today we have someone who is according to us is one among the scum of the society.He is not a gangster or a crook but among the people who know him he is hated by all.Today on this Christman eve,we decided to give him what he deserves.And to all you people,tonight maybe your lucky night.The prize for the survivor may be yours.We will not tell you who the person is but you have got a chance to guess who it is after the show is done.The person guessing correctly will the awarded the Survivor prize.So hold on to your seats and let the show begin"</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> I could feel the anticipation in the air.This was much much different from the usual.Today someone is deliberatly going to be killed.And there is the prize for guessing who it is.What an oppurtunity.A win here today will turn my life around.I prayed that it was someone i can recognise,selfish and heartless,yes but in this current world of loneliness,i think i could be heartless too.While i was wrestling with my supposedly dead moral self the show began.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> A pure white room.White chair and a white table.On it sat a little fat man wearing white.His face was not shown.His entire head was covered with a metal jacket with only 3 small holes.Two for his eyes and one for his mouth.On both sides of the jacket were two burners directed at it.It was lightly lit so that they heat up the metal slowly.I gasped at the sight.It was such a terrible thing,to be slowly roasted alive.He was strapped onto the chair and i believe he was gagged as no screams could be heard.Screams that would have come from a man whose head is being slowly boiled.He was struggling against the straps and nearly broke one on his legs but then again he was either too tired to actually break it or gave up.After the struggles were over,the door to the room openend.There walked in a masked lady.The announcement came "He didnot use his hands to help people.So she is going to misuse his hands,misuse them so much that he will be lucky if he got a hand left. "</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> The second section began with this.The lady sat down on the table before him.She slowly took out a small penknife and flicked it open.A really small knife.She then started playing with his hands making scars on them drawing blood.Against the stark white background,the sight of blood was a little unsettling.She continued playing will suddenly she stiffend.With a shout she started to saw off his thumb.He began thrashing around with pain but to no avail.Slowly she sawed off his thumb and put it in a container she had taken out from her coat pocket.Then she started with his other fingers.This gruesome scene continued for over an hour.Finally she had sawn off all his fingers.She stood up and raised the container with 10 bloody fingers and walked away.He had stopped thrashing long back and sometime during this the burners were turned off.He was very still.I thought he was dead but then the burners came on.After a while he started moving again and started to struggle but very weakly.The announcement "Dear viewers,the show is not over yet.There is still some more left.He strayed out of his path too often,tread the dark paths where no one dares to go.For this he will have his punishment".</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> After this announcement 2 guys came into the room.The untied him from his chair and made him lie down on the bloody floor.Of the white room,it was difficult to find a part not splattered by his blood.The guys who came in slowly put him down and Guy 1 lifted his legs up a little bit and the Guy 2 put the chair under them elevating his legs.By then he was too weak to struggle.There was just a painful moan coming from the metal clad face.The 2 guys then went out and returned with 2 sledge hammers and stood on both sides of his legs.The countdown started "3...2..1.now".At the sound of now,the guys bought down the hammers on his knees.A sickening crack was heard and a painful wailing sound was heard from him.The guys didnot stop there.The methodically continued to swing their hammers at his legs for over 30 min.I watched in horror as his legs were reduced to something not even resembling legs but just a platter of blood,flesh and bones.The guys left him like this and went out.The announcement "Dear vieweres,don't be alarmed.This person deserves every one of these blows.Now for the grand finale.Please do not leave yet.After this you have to guess who this person is for the grand survivor prize."</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> Although sickened by what i saw,i still stayed for the sum offered was much much more than anything i can ever imagine and if i guess correctly i would never have to work my entire life and live like a king.So swallowing the rising bile from my stomach,i waited for the final section.The same 2 guys from part 2 came in and lifted the man up.They put him on the table with his head hanging down.Thw woman from part 1 came in and then deposited the container with all his fingers on his torso.They all then stood back and started chanting in an eerie emotionless voice. "The time is now,let him be gone."There was a grinding noise from somewhere above.Slowly a panel in ceiling slid back to reveal a metal plank studded with glass pieces directly above the table on which the man was lying.The chant grew in volume and speed and it reached a feverish pitch when suddenly the plank came down crushing him and the table.Then there was silence.The woman and the guys bowed to us and went out.The announcement "Dear viewers, now that is the end of today's show.Please wait for a few minutes.We will show the face of today's star to you all now.You can have only one guess and the person guessing correctly will be the winner of out survivor prize."</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> I waited,hardly daring to breathe.All sorts of thoughts were running through my head.What if i won?What will i say?What will i do first?What if i know who that is and someone else says it first?What if it is someone i am close to?Will i be able to tell it to get the prize?My whole head was spinning with these thoughts when the announcement came again. "Dear viewers, here is the face of today's star.Please type in if you know this person into the PDA device on the armrest of your seat.You got 5 minutes.Good Luck"</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> The face came into view,or rather what was left of the face.Being trapped in a metal jacket and being roasted with 2 burners had made the face more hideous than anything i have ever imagined.There was utter silence in the crowd at the sight of the face,there were retching sounds,gasps,cries of anguish.Many i felt could not even look at the face.It was difficult to believe that this was once been a human face.There are no words to describe how horrible it was.I looked at it again and then at once feelings on joy and sadness filled my heart.I knew who that was but i cannot say it and claim the prize.It would be an inhuman thing to do that.I asked the guy sitting to my left whether he knew who that was.He said no.I whispered to him the name of the person and asked him to claim the prize.With that i slowly got out of my seat and went out.It was midnight and a small snowfall was in progress.Although not wearing my coat,i felt no cold nor the biting cold wind.It was Christmas, the festival of joy ,the day when the saviour of man was born over 2000 years ago.Wishing the world a HAPPY CHRISTMAS and with one last look at the theatre, i went back to where i belong.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> The Times.December25,2008</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Yesterday night was a day of surprises for all those who gathered for the special edition of The Survivor.It was sort of a torture punishment and death for one individual whom the company claimed to be unfit to live.To make matters more interesting, the person who guesses the identity of the victim would be given the survivor special prize.At midnight yesterday this prize was won by one Mr.Robert Morrison,a postman who correctly guessed the name of the victim to be one Mr.John Wayne Robinson a former employee of the World corporation conducting the Survivor show.Mr.Robinson has been missing for a week now after he was fired from the company.The reasons for his firing is still unclear but authorities confirmed that an internal source from the company hinted that Robinson's apparent fight with the company head and his subsequent threats to company security authorities has got something to do with his being let off.The company chairman is supposed to tell the exact reasons at the press conference to be organised tomorrow.Mr.Morrison on his statement made clear that he did not know Robinson but the name was given to him by a guy sitting next to him for the show but an investigation of the booking details confirmed the fact that there was no one for that seat which Morrison was referring to.The payment of the prize to Morrison is currently on hold and will be released only after his story is verified.</span></div> <div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And to all our readers,Wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS!</span></div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-31875114928579631172008-06-20T04:54:00.000-07:002008-06-20T05:19:29.824-07:00Why and some ramblingsWhy am i like this?<br />Why do i live like this?<br />Why do i care a lot about people?<br />Why do i hate some people a lot?<br />Why do i hate this life?<br />Why do i always get hurt by ones i care?<br />Why do i always hurt the ones i care?<br />Why do i still consider myself partly human?<br />Why do i take these silly risks?<br />Why am i not caring whether i live or not?<br />Why am i not worth it?<br />Why is life not worth living for?<br />Why do i think so much?<br />Why am i so jealous?<br />Why am i so not jealous?<br />Why do i think of killing some people?<br />Why do i always think of killing myself?<br />Why am i not killing myself?<br />Why do i think this world is beautiful?<br />Why do i think this world is unfair?<br />Why do i always want to time travel?<br />Why do i take things personally?<br />Why do i eat food a lot?<br />Why am i so fat?<br />Why am i so ugly?<br />Why am i such a freak of nature?<br />Why am i allowed to live?<br />Why do people still tell me they care?<br />Why do no one kill me?<br />Why is this world still spinning?<br />Why is the time not stopping?<br /><br />and last but not the least, the most important question again...<br /><br />WHY THE HELL AM I STILL ALIVE WHEN ALL I WANT IS TO DIE??<br /><br /><br />Of the many things that i ask myself, these are some of the major questions.People think i might be crazy, i am out of my mind or whatever but i do not care.<br /><br />It is not about me anymore. I am nothing but a wandering ghost that needs a place to haunt. Only thing left is to become a ghost....literally....<br />There were times when i thought life is beautiful and worth living but of late that old feeling of worthlessness has crept in. Like all bad things that happens, seems like despair and depression has come back to my life with a vengeance...much much stronger than ever. I think the main inference from this recent events is that i have started back on the wonderful downward spiral from which i had escaped once.....<br />I do not know what awaits me tomorrow, not even know what is going to happen when i go out for the ride in another 5 minutes.Yes i am going riding, bad leg n all......its the thrills and risks that actually sustains me through the dull days i am having. Who knows one day it is all going to end at top speed. Nothing more satisfying to a rider than death on wheels.....maybe a lorry or even a car.....as long as the purpose is served i do not care.....the means are not important only the goal is.<br />Please pray that i find what i am searching for....let the race begin....3...2..1.GO<br /><br />Sayonaraslain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-25861269749825671212008-03-15T18:49:00.001-07:002008-03-15T18:59:13.267-07:00FUCKi have no idea what am writing now or what i am supposed to write now.In these times i wonder if i am still alive or is it some astro projection of my self running around in ill fitting pants kissing ass and trying to stay in this race of life.<br /><br />Life....what is it?<br /><br />i was never a big fan of the wod LIFE and still am not but something has made me think a lot about it these days.....is this life which i have now worth living? if it is then for whom am i living_<br />Is it for me or for someone else?<br />point to be noted : the someone else is NOT my gf cos simply i havent got one. even if i had one i think i would like to kill her and cut her up and cook her nice and tender and EAT her.<br />Now where did i get that idea from?<br /><br />oh yes....the perfect example of what i am now.....whatz gng on in the head of this idiotic jackass whom everyone like to laugh at. I am the joke, i am the fun.....i am nobody....wow...perfect settings for the perfect career.....i think Ted Bundy thought like this too......<br /><br />hint to me : goto this link and start reading....wen ya finished then u knw wat i am now....messed up jackass....i reallly love that name...<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_serial_killers_by_country">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_serial_killers_by_country</a><br /><br />ok....i am officialy mental....wat tuk me so loong?<br /><br />PS: fukked up german keyboard.....IRRITATING.....spellings al messd up coz of dat......slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-916377493423592002007-10-20T23:53:00.000-07:002008-12-09T07:58:13.409-08:00Something I Read....something that defines me<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioUIo2byWBsjB6Emgrtf2c3n4U4cr7xXqJm3ng_mT4G3aV8nHeHgoS1yDeC1pPrkVx4qk3C0RGIujTysge2LKX-4Rvunmjxt69YCmLlesm8pfZR_57xEGezOnp4nrIZLK94yZ-yg/s1600-h/129253303.img.small.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioUIo2byWBsjB6Emgrtf2c3n4U4cr7xXqJm3ng_mT4G3aV8nHeHgoS1yDeC1pPrkVx4qk3C0RGIujTysge2LKX-4Rvunmjxt69YCmLlesm8pfZR_57xEGezOnp4nrIZLK94yZ-yg/s200/129253303.img.small.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5123681431612588786" border="0" /></a><br />Theres nothing you can say<br />Nothing you can do<br />Theres nothing in between<br />You know the truth<br /><br />Nothing left to face<br />Theres nothing left to lose<br />Nothing takes your place<br /><br />When they say<br />Youre not that strong<br />Youre not that weak<br />It's not your fault<br />And when you climb up to your hill<br />Up to your place<br />I hope you are well<br /><br />Theres nothing left to prove<br />There's nothing I wonat do<br />Theres nothing like the pain<br />I feel for you<br /><br />Nothing left to hide<br />Nothing left to feel<br />I am always here<br /><br />When they say<br />Youre not that strong<br />Youre not that weak<br />It's not your fault<br />And when you climb up to your hill<br />Up to your place<br />I hope you are well<br /><br />What you want<br />What you lost<br />What you had<br />What is gone is over<br /><br />What you got<br />What you love<br />What you need<br />What you have is real<br /><br />It's not enough<br />Its not enough<br />Its not enough<br />Its not enough, I'm sorry<br /><br />Its not enough<br />Its not enough<br />Its not enough<br />Its not enough...<br /><br />When they say<br />Youre not that strong<br />Youre not that weak<br />It's not your fault<br />And when you climb up to your hill<br />Up to your place<br />I hope you are well<br /><br />Its not enough<br />No<br />Its not enough<br />Its not enough<br /><br /><br /><br />---this is the lyrics of Jeff Hardy's(WWE) .....slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-85257408316253506532007-09-21T08:47:00.000-07:002007-09-21T08:48:08.352-07:00Instrument of Death<p><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">"As the world advanced from the dark ages into the modern era,there were innumerable number of changes within the human society.One of the major areas for development is in the number of methods available to kill someone.From using stone and wood clubs and spears, man has progressed to guns,toxic poisons and even nuclear weapons of mass destruction.The sheer number of methods are enough to make one's head go round and round and round. But all this information did not serve my purpose as majority of these methods availalbe are having an inherant problem.They could easily be traced back or the culprit can be apprehended and punished. I needed something, some method by which i can kill someone in a way i desire and then get away with it.After giving this a lot of thought, i am finally formulating a plan to do what i want.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">For every crime or murder,the important link that ties the murderer to the victim is the motive.This varies from person to person.One may kill for personal glory,other for monetary gains etc.On starting an investigation, the details of everyone even remotly connected to the victim is compiled by the authorities and each one is tracked down.But the best part about the plan i formulated is that the victim is going to be someone whom i don't even know, someone i have never seen before i kill him/her. Finding one such person is not so easy as it sounds.There are many around but there are risks involved in randomly picking someone and then killing them.One has to study the victim before killing and it is this studying that is the weakest link in this chain of events.Someone somewhere might have seen you following the person or someone might see both you and the victim at the same place although not together.This is pretty harmless unless the observer happens to be one belonging to the nosy fame seeking category who is so eager to see his name in papers so would try to recall each and everything they could gather about the victim's last few days and there is a chance,however remote it is, for you to be identified.But planning a murder up until all the last details is rewarding but then again if all goes according to plan then the thrill of the kill is gone.It will become something similar to the planning and completion of tasks in software industry.So although there were risks involved, i decided to pick up a random victim and kill him/her the same day as and when the oppurtunity comes.If by chance there are no openings to carry out the murder then i can always go back and return the next day for another victim.This requires patience but then again this is pretty much thrilling than sitting and planning the entire murder although careful planning is required before and after the actual murder as the main objective is to kill and then get away in such a way that the authorities can in no way trace it all back to me.Keeping all these in mind i was in the lobby of Hotel Monolith waiting for my possible victim for the day.I decided to start at the hotels as its easy to gain access to the victim's room and also plenty of privacy to carry out the deed.And so on that fine Wednesday morning the hunt began.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">Like in all professions, there is something known as a beginner's luck in this one also.But the fact is having that sort of a luck for what i am doing now is something close to divine.And i am not divine.I kept on shifting hotels and timings such that i was never in the same hotel twice with the same bell boys and the reception managers.All the time i was the silent stranger in the corner busy filling the crossword.I was getting a little impatient not because i couldn't find anyone but there were too many potential victims.Selecting one out of that many qualified candidates is something very difficult and it is natural that you feel sorry for the ones that missed out on the chance.So when i selected her from Monolith, i surely felt pangs of guilt for the others i had selected from Monolith.Although i could easily go back and select one from each of the hotels, once i have selected her,then i cannot select another from Monolith.It has been more than a week now since i began my work and finally i have found one and the day has come for me to test the limits of my planning and abilities.Besided having her room number, i had no other information about her.No name, no idea whether she is alone in the room or with her spouse or friends or children.At that moment nothing mattered to me except my goal.Whoever she is,whoever she was,she is going to die the same day i selected her as my victim.Now that i have selected my victim, the most difficult part was over.All now remains is the actual execution of the act and how to do it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">There were many factors to be considered before i actually carried out the act.The method of killing depends directly on the victim.Before i go into the details some more information about the victim.She was a moderately tall slightly overweight woman.Age could be anywhere between 50-60 years with a very prominent limp possibly arthritis.She wore nice but expensive clothes and was devoid of any sort of make up or jewellery.I still do not know why i selected her to be my victim.Maybe it was because of the fact that she was painfully limping that i decided to put her out of her misery.Or maybe it is because of the fact that she had an aura or anonymity...one among a million old people around.With this mindset i began to analyse the current situation.The first thing to plan was the mode of killing.Although i was more inclined towards choking her,the sadist in me won out in the end on the suggestion of gutting her.It would be messy and this was one method were the chances of me getting caught were very high.Then again the risk would be thrilling.As one of the few who rose out of the city's many gutters into the city life, i was constantly missing the action in the ever changing and dangerous world i grew up in.The only knowledge i have of my past is a photo of me wearing a horrible pink bunny suit and sitting on what appears to be in mini version of a red BMW in a well maintained garden.Maybe i was rich but then thrown away or maybe i was abducted when i was a kid and thrown into the gutters.Whatever the reason maybe, i never bothered to ponder over this as life was too exciting to waste on thinking too much and so that was the end of it.Coming back to the task at hand, i preferred the official issue swiss army knife as it was easy to pierce and slash with it,one of the best hand to hand weapons around.Next came the fact about how to access her room and when to do it.The time i fixed as just after the dinner so that at that time the whole hotel would be so busy that one stranger can very easily slip into the living rooms of the vast facility.And a casual glance at the door lock convinced me that there was no need for anything more.It was a standard "Hotel lock" which is meant to be easily broken.I myself have broken many a lock like this during the time i was one of the street.But this was different.Back then money for food was the important issue but now the prize was higher.It was food for my soul.The time and the mode being fixed, now started the most difficult of all the procedures,the waiting game.Only the most patient can become the best hunter.It all depends on his instincts.Now that all preliminaries are over,the waiting began.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">This wait was nothing like i ever imagined.It was hard on my already strung up nerves but then this is my first hunt so the tension was understandable.Hours passed and finally the moment of truth has come.Dinner was over and the mad rush of the guests going to their rooms began.I stood up from my position from behind the stairs and blended into the moving crowd.The hidng place was very well suited for my purpose.There was no light falling there and also it was so cramped up that no one would ever imagine anyone to creep under it and hide.But then again, the haven't counted on anyone as determined and as desperate as myself.The journey to her room began.I felt the urge to push my way through the sea of human bodies and rush to her room but although the tension was unbearable,i managed to keep it under check.A simple mistake from my side can destroy all that i have worked for a long time.Slowly but steadily i reached her room.It was clear that she was not in as i couldn't see even a glimmer of light even from under the door.I proceeded to pick the lock assuming the manner of an irritated guest who had a drink one too many and now cannot open his door.It worked and no one ever gave me a second glance.The only thing i was afraid of was that she would come up behind me while i was opening the door to her room.But as i had calculated, she was much slower than the rest because of her limp.I was inside her room and locked the door back all well within the 20 minutes she took to reach her room.Thankfully there was no one inside and a quick glance at the room told me that she was living alone in the room.The only risk is that she might bring someone with her but at her age that would be a miracle.I was right.She was alone when she came inside.One thing i have not yet planned was how to approach her.Should i hide and jump her from behind,cut her throat to keep her from screaming or should i go straight,gag her and then kill her slowly at my leisure.I was still indecisive about this when she came in.I hid behind the curtains.Although they were long the curtains were not that thick.It was not obvious at first sight but on a moderatly careful observation i would be caught red-handed.She came into the room and throwing off her slippers she went directly to bed.It seemed like she had too much to drink but then i realised that she was not.She was very much sober but it was her leg giving her trouble.In a moment the decision was made.I decided to confront her ,gag her and then start with the killing procedure.I stepped out from behind the curtains and with a reasonably thick cloth in my hand should the need arise to cut off her screams.She was lying on the bed on her belly and was reading or looking at something.I was very soft and slow but somehow she realised i was behind her.With a small cry of exclamation she jumped of the bed and saw me.She started running towards the door but i was faster.Fate had decided that she would die fast.To avoid further complications i pushed the cloth into her mouth and gutted her from navel to her chest.It was messier than i had imagined.Her innards seemed to jump out at me with revenge but i managed to avoid the worst of it.She fell down and began writhing in pain.It was a glorius sight,one that would fill the heart of the hunter with immense pleasure.Time passed.Although she had almost all her stomach and intestines on the carpeted floor, she somehow was still alive and all the while clawing her was towards her bed possibly to get some weapon?I got bored with it after sometime and decided to end her suffering.It took only a slit from ear to ear to make her finally die.I looked at the carnage in front of me and was a little bit disappointed.The thrill was there but i was hoping she was some fighter but she went down easily...too easily for my liking.Then came one of my crazy ideas.I should start a collection.I should have something to remember all the kills that i am going to make.I had already decided that the next one is going to be that eccentric guy who wears a pink suit always at Hotel Shoreview.I looked around the room for something as a memento.Nothing.The whole room was clean, all hotel stuff.My eyes then fell upon her bag and her book on the bed.I took them both and looked through,hoping to find somthing worthwhile......... "</span></p><br /> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">The Times (own correspondent) 24th May 2007 : Above is the manuscript got from the body of the young man found dead in Hotel Monolith last night.He was sitting on the bed with a knife thrust deep into his throat.No details are available about this young man.It is clear from this is that he is some how related to the slaughter of Mrs.Morrison in the same room.She was brutally murdered last night and details about the murder are still sketchy.Police say that the pictures of the room and body are too graphic for public viewing.Mrs.Morrison was a well known lady at her hometown of Minnesoville where she was one of the pioneers of the "LOST" foundation which specialises in funding efforts to find children gone missing.She herself was a victim of such a mishap which motivated her to start this.She had lost her only son only when he was only 14 months old.Reports say that she was going through some old paper clippings about her lost son when she was brutally attacked and killed.They were organised into one compilation.According to the police, the only thing in the room not bloodied was that that album of paper clippings although it was on her bed.The page showed the picture of her missing son wearing a a horrible pink bunny suit and sitting on what appears to be in mini version of a red BMW in a well maintained garden.</span></p>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-85897150356482042302007-09-18T05:46:00.000-07:002007-09-18T05:47:16.193-07:00Beautiful Life......My Style!!<p class="MsoNormal">It all began sometime soon after she left but then again it was always there. While she was around, it was no more than just a shadow lurking in the corner of his mind but when she finally decided to leave and let him be, the wait was over for it. Finally after all the wait and pain, it was out and that was not all. With it came something more dangerous, darker than anything I had imagined in my life.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Initially it was the emptiness that choked me. Many a time I even picked up my phone to call her. Call her and beg for her mercy. But even then I knew it was not going to happen. What I have become over the years was not something that gives into these weaker human urges and desires. So to avoid further webs of temptation, I did the only thing I could do at that time. I deleted her number from my cell…a silly move but necessary to preserve my sanity. But e-mail remained one of the biggest hurdles that needed to be crossed for me to completely get rid of her from my mind. Even a stray mail from the very few friends I got might contain her name and that was enough to drive me crazy. All this time I never thought I would miss her so much but then again like always I was wrong and she was right. One would know the hurt of missing someone only if you really miss someone you care about. I remember her telling me that I would never understand and I never did. I still cannot say I really missed her but one thing was sure. Without even talking to her, my life has become something like an empty hall. I realized who she was for me, more than just a friend or a partner. She was something more, something precious. She was that ingredient that was holding this pathetic existence of mine together. But now it was all over. Knowingly I had pushed out the one person whom I ever gave a damn about, pushed out so far that I doubt whether she would ever hear me again should I decide to go after her.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jealousy is a very strange being. You would not be jealous at even your worse enemy but then again you would be goddamn jealous of someone real close to you. This is one question that I asked myself all the time. Is jealousy what drove her from me? Impartial though I was, I was not able to answer that. That could be a reason but then again there could be other more severe reasons. But one thing became very clear. Without her by my side, I was suffering but she seemed to enjoy every moment of it. She was colder than I thought she would be. While I was sitting in the corner thinking to myself and trying my best not to lose my sanity, she was running around shopping and watching movies and hanging out with her ‘gang’ of friends. I don’t know whether she was trying to freak me out but then again I respect her because she was doing a damn good job at that. Days went by, days turning into weeks and months and finally years. A couple of years have passed so far but still life remains the same except for the fact that we were 2 years older. But something also changed inside of me. I was no longer the smiley blimey guy around but a ghost of my former self. A rotten creature stuck up in the human shell. Then it was time for all of us to part our ways…to go out and see the wide world around. At this moment, at this last moment, I made the decision. The decision I am still debating on.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There she was walking like a princess among her ‘friends’ if I could call them that. I never really understood why she was hanging out with those bunch of freaks but then again she always liked to be with the freaks so that she could be noticed. No wonder she was with me even for a short period of time. I knew what I had to do. This was the answer to all my problems. The time has come for me to go back to my peaceful existence, to the pre-meet her period, when I was normal, when I was human. I picked the time carefully so that she would be alone then. Also I knew she wouldn’t pass an opportunity to hear me apologizing to her. I knew she would be there and was early to come as usual. But I was prepared for this emergency. I had woken up very early that day, freshened up and was all set and ready by the time I met her at the football field. Apologies were exchanged at first but then the plan started acting out. I asked her one simple question: “What do you think of me now?” Before she replied I read the answer in her eyes, her face. To her, I was nothing more than just another of the crowd of her friends. This time I was ready. She had damaged my soul once and she was not going to do it all over again. I never gave her a chance to speak. I thrust the knives right into her eyes, those gray beautiful eyes that caught me in it in their first glance. The spell was broken the moment I felt her eyes exploding and showering blood all over my hands. But this was too easy a fate for her. There were more to come. I cut out her nose and ears and thrust her into her mouth to stop her shouting. It was just so awesome. Eyeless, nose less and earless there she stood gagging on her own organs spilling blood all over her light sky blue skirt. Once I got her on her knees it was easy. I cut her open like a fat pig. I cut out all that I could from that carcass and fed it to the dogs around who were watching all this like some blockbuster movie. I felt her shivering with each cut I was making but I was not going to stop. The fun, it was too much for me to think about her. I was having too much of fun cutting her up, so much that I literally chopped her into small slices, slices that reminded me of bacon. I had her heart in my hand. It was the moment I was waiting for all my life. Her heart with me…it was still warm and trying to beat all the while squirting blood on my already bloodied arms. To get her totally out of my head, there was only one way. To get her into my stomach and let my body reject her, throw her out of my system for the one last time. The sun had risen and with it my appetite rose. I took a bite out of her heart. It was soft, mushy, sweet and tasty. The first bite was the hardest. Once I tasted what it was like, there was no stopping. With hungry gulps I ate it completely and once the meal was over, I felt peace…peace like heaven for the first time in my life for a long time.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The days that followed were nothing but figments of memory. After the meal I ran off leaving all and everything behind. I traveled lands I have never seen or heard before. I met people who liked me and hated me. All the time I was on the lookout for someone to come and take me back to the ground and finish me off as I did to her but no one came. I made discreet enquiries about her fate but no one seemed to know what happened to her. It was like a person like that never existed but I knew she did. I could still feel the taste of her heart in my mouth; it was always there like some sweet dream that one wants to see all night long every night. Maybe the dogs might have finished her off or maybe someone must have found her and is keeping this quiet so that they can find out about my whereabouts. For whatever reason that was, I was never going to go back. I got all that what I wanted. I got her out of my head but at the same time I can always have her with me, in me for all eternity. I am a normal satisfied man right now. The world is a beautiful place again and the beauty beckons me from the distance. Ah life is so beautiful!!!!</p>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-6207803458949974982007-09-12T12:36:00.000-07:002007-09-12T12:39:04.179-07:00Winds of Suffering<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";">Birds have started their singing now,<o:p></o:p><br />That might be the morning I think<o:p></o:p><br />Time to wake up and start the day<o:p></o:p><br />One more day added to my waning years.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>Walking out of my humble abode,<o:p></o:p><br />Greeted by a breeze on my face<o:p></o:p><br />Laden with the sweet odor of flowers<o:p></o:p><br />Jasmine, rose and many others more.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>I start my work, the usual one<o:p></o:p><br />And now winds starts to play around<o:p></o:p><br />Dancing around my unkempt hair<o:p></o:p><br />Teasing me with their fragrant gusts.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>Oh how beautiful spring time is<o:p></o:p><br />Soothing the world with its gay colors<o:p></o:p><br />Finally the cruel winter had left<o:p></o:p><br />But leaving it’s lasting mark around.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>I hear people laugh and sing<o:p></o:p><br />Getting along with their daily things<o:p></o:p><br />I feel<span style=""> </span>their gaze upon my face<o:p></o:p><br />I smile in return, yes I do smile.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";">Its all so peaceful now, Only<o:p></o:p><br />Joy and the sweetness all around.<o:p></o:p><br />Not a trace of the winter snow<o:p></o:p><br />To numb the senses with its embrace.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>I pray the flowers may never droop<o:p></o:p><br />I wish the birds to go on singing<o:p></o:p><br />I hope the world will remain the same<o:p></o:p><br />To be in the spring till<span style=""> </span>the end of time.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>All around me people move<o:p></o:p><br />Lucky ones, some black sheep too<o:p></o:p><br />Like me they stray through the paths<o:p></o:p><br />Unconnected with everything around.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>I hear the birds , I smell the flowers<o:p></o:p><br />I smile without joy, cry without pain<o:p></o:p><br />All the flowers,birds and people around<o:p></o:p><br />Fails to free me from my icy throne.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--><!--[endif]-->Smelling flowers, hearing the songs<o:p></o:p><br />I see them all in my mind’s eye<o:p></o:p><br />For I am blind, ah cruel fate<o:p></o:p><br />I cannot enjoy the light anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>In my life the winter goes on <o:p></o:p><br />Darkness and ice encasing my mind <o:p></o:p><br />Always has its icy clutches on me<o:p></o:p><br />Oh cruel fate, the cold wind blows.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></p>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-72286823193710297052007-05-31T07:08:00.001-07:002007-05-31T07:08:27.562-07:00Evolution of the new Breed....The life is nothing more than a few lines of code and mails coming in day by day with increasing frequency. Even the filter is rendered useless against this torrent of mails mostly coming from bosses around who got nothing better to do than to screw up your life in the worst possible way so that you may never ever be able to be a normal human being again,i.e if they know the meaning of being normal.<br />At this pace the life as we know it is coming to a premature end.The ways a man suffers.His dignity,self-respect,the very foundation of his being is questioned and shattered in this ongoing flow of life.There are many things that can happen to one in the course of one's life but this is the worst that could happen.The loss of the sense of being !!!<br />This is the worst possible way in which a man can selfdestruct.There are individuals all around us and like someone said in the golden old days-each one is unique.It is that which makes man a social animal.Each one around us have something which you donot have.So as a whole he strives to be complete in all respects,the journey towards perfection........a never ending journey.It is the purpose of a human life.To search for what he lacks,a search for himself.But imagine what would happen if that for which he searches for is destroyed in such a way that it can never be put together.The meaning of life is lost........the sense of living,the instinct to survive,the feelings of being human, all are destroyed.He becomes nothing more than a programmable robot,one who could be programmed by anyone according to their wishes.A being without any feeling or emotions to such extend that even "being" is such a human name for it.This is the fate that is staring everyone in the face now.The losses one incur are many but this one loss is enough to plunge his whole life into a dark pit........a pit from which escaping is nothing more than a dream.<br />There are examples of those who have outlasted this fate assigned to them but in all those cases there was always a helping hand given to them from the people around.Some of them themselves in the pit but having enough compassion left to help others who are suffering gain a better life.But there are ones who have not themselves gone all the way.It was not their destiny to end up in this regions.But there were forces which would have nothing of it,it was nothing more than full fledged cruelty against those poor souls by their masters in the domains.......forces beyond the control of the poor souls.The life of a developer is nothing more than a puppet in the hands of superior beings calling themselves the managers and leaders.To be thrown out or to be pushed so far underground that he had to be dead for atleast a hundred years for even the stench to penetrate into the surface above.These are nothing more than hobbies for them.But the time has now come for them to come down from their grand thrones.......to step down from their self appointed positions of glory and power.It is a new age,a new begining.The winds of change will blow over these lands,destroying everything in its path.The age-old traditions are going to die.A new race will rise.<br />For everything new there must be someone to start it.A totally insignificant act that would trigger the collapse of all that is old,traditional and evil.The time has come and the moment is now.He is ready to do what he thinks is right,to shoulder the burden of starting it all off.Noone knows whether he will be there till the end of all this,noone even knows when all this ends.But one thing is sure,if it begins,it will end up soon........such are the magnitude of the forces that have assembled ready for destruction.The time draws close,the moment has happened,the chain of events that would cause him to act has already been started.It only remains for him to act.........to set light the fire that will burn and consume everything even including himself.His actions will rewrite history,a heavy responsiblity for one so young and inexperienced.As the events unfold with alarming rapidity there is one question that everyone asks "IS HE READY?"<br />I say to them all.........."YES,He is ready,I am READY"slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-26812029897694306502007-05-31T07:06:00.000-07:002007-05-31T07:07:53.178-07:00Atheism or the Truth ??There is a begining and then there is an end....these are inevitable but there are certain things which are so much unpredictable and so much out of sync with the normal mode of life happening between these two eventualities.This can get one to think-if life and death are inescapable and are well defined by some other entity in advance,then why can't the events that lie in between be predicted or better,be controlled.Many many scholars and magicians have tried out their best to answer this question but all of them had the answer..the common one..its fate and we cannot change it.But the nature of man is to question and he asks the question why?Then also there is a ready answer,some unknown entity by the name of God about whom everyone has heard and everyone believes(almost) but one whom noone has ever seen.But this existence is never questioned and is said to be the cause and the secret hand behind all the unexplained phenomena happening all around this universe.But even this has got it's limitations.there are certain things happening all around which are in no way related to God,atleast as far as all the explanations and descriptions about him and his methods in all the religions combined.If there is light,there is darkness.if there is day,there is night and if there is good,there is evil.So as the God is being represented as the symbol of all the good in this world,then there should exist another entity whose nature of operations is just the opposite to that of God and man being always so thinking and so resourceful had meant to call that anti-God entity by a name Devil.Like God,Devil is also described as omnipotent and also having his own share of disciples and a wide variety of names.This just makes one wonder,if there is this much similarity between God and the Devil,then why are there different communal riots all around in the name of religion of God whereas nothing of that sort exists in case of Devil??Does this mean that even with the name Devil,he is the one,keeping aside all his list of evil activities,that really takes care of the ones that follow and worship him whatever their religion or caste be?Also there is another bigger question,with all these similarities,are God and Devil the one and the same,like one common force or being whom when it is nice is God and when it is having a bad time,it is Devil.In simple terms like this,the existence and the essence of all the religions are put into doubt.Are we worshipping God and Devil at the same time?Put simply,God is Devil when he is having a bad day.<br />Finally it all boils down to the same thing-it depends upon how you look at it.If one thinks he is praying to God then he is praying to God and the same goes for the case of Devil.But then comes a bigger question-if man is making decisions as to who or what to worship,then wouldn't it be nice to be someone whom all will worship?This thought has fuelled the minds of many a man and was the cause of the most bloody and disastrous events of the past....coming in second to the most favoured cause for all this- Women.<br />Now a little point to discuss.According to many legends,man was to live in Eden but woman forced him to eat the prohibited fruit which made God to throw them out of Eden and into the place called Earth where man began his life.Also there are references that man was to have all the virtues as like in the God but Pandora(again a woman) opened a box full of evil and negative thoughts and troubles...and not to forget one of the most famous wars in history that destroyed the advanced and developed Troy and caused many a legendary hero to fall in its wake including Hector,Priam,Achilles,Ajax etc.,all because of Helen(obviously a woman).This war also had many outward ripples like disturbances and troubles for countless other legends like Odeisseius,Ajax,Arkantos etc.This and many more makes one wonder,man is created by God but is the woman created by his alter-ego or his doppleganger the Devil while poor man was sleeping??This is a matter of thought.Now i am not saying that all women are evil and all men are good.It just depends on who made who at the time they were made.If God made a man/woman,then he/she will be good but if Devil makes one,he/she turns out to be evil.Simple and straight-forward but so so true.<br />Coming back to the original question--is God and Devil the same person?This is one question that urgently needs some answers because there simply cannot be more pondering over this matter if noone knows what is supposed to happen.slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-49985307972720617772007-05-31T07:04:00.000-07:002007-05-31T07:05:48.446-07:00Journey of Life--Pathway to Hell"Life is not a bed of roses" This age old saying is on the way out of my dictionary for the last time.If you ponder over this saying for sometime the underlying meaning becomes very clear.Roses have thorns on their stems.So life being a bed of roses also has its share of aches and pains to the unfortunate being who is sentenced to live his life in this plane of existence.Of late my life has become a really large bed of roses.....minus the petals.All that is remaining is a blanket of thorns each one drawing living blood out of my body on contact.Each step towards the answer to my life has become a torture in itself.<br /> The bed was not always of thorns only.There were beautiful flowers..........soft to touch and fragrant which protected me from the underlying horrors filling the world with their beauty.Then also there were occasional pricks of pain but then it was wiped away without a trace........solace to be found in the depths of the warm embrace of the pleasent wind around....All good things must come to an end and this underlying truth finally touched me with its cold fingers.The spring of the life is gone...........it is nothing more than a mere memory lost beneath the torrent of emotions that swept away the last traces of humanity that i had.Holding on to the few pillars of support around i cried.......not words but cries arising from depths within me which i never knew existed.All these went unanswered and it was a long time before i realised that there was noone coming for me.The last ray of hope i had was someone waiting for me on the other side of this abyss but gradually that too was fading fast.Inside me a change was happening.The sense of being was replaced by a emptiness impossible to define, the person i was changed,changed to something even i fear in its darkest hours.I am scared even to delve into this new ME as even a glimpse into its depths had got me worried beyond imagination.The time of light has passed and a new dawn has come.............the time of the beast is on hand.This "Thing" is nothing more than i myself, but a part of me is worried..........unleashing this upon the world around...........such a terrible and terrifying thought.<br /> But what all consequences it may have,what all trouble it may create, in a way i am not responsible for it's actions.Yes, the creature resides within me and it is using my body as the vessel for its plans,my plans.The actual culprits are those who in the first place pushed me to the darkest corner such that this whole episode of my life came to light.May God forgive those damned souls for what they have done to me.But one thing is sure,i am not going to forgive them............He inside is not going to forgive them..the time is here and the time is now..........revenge is a dish best served cold but i like it hot..........hot as in their warm blood washing over me when i rip their throats out and consume their living forces.Yes, this is the answer to my life, my salvation.A bloodbath!!!!This is what the scriptures told me, this is what i will do..............the final dance of death has begun.........the waiting is finally over...........the time has come for me to bathe in their blood......to be a part of the burning river Styx.........on a never ending journey towards HELL...............my own Hell.....slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-1446588747849701762007-02-15T07:43:00.000-08:002007-02-15T07:44:46.604-08:00A New Begining<h3 class="post-title"> <a href="http://confusedentity.blogspot.com/2007/02/new-begining_08.html">This was written when my blog got lost......written earlier,posted NOW<br /></a> </h3> <span style="font-family: arial;"> This comes as a surprise to me too that i am going on to write this new blog. It was going on pretty well with my original first blog and the story of my sorry yet interesting life was unfolding so easily and creations i have created using the reserves deep within me were drawing subtle reviews from one and many.But sadly all good things have to come to an end and so does the bad things and for me the end came in a very unexpected time and moment as it always happens like that.Even though you know that it is going to come unexpected,you always expect it and so suddenly in one moment your thoughts slips,it happens.<br />It was a pretty ordinary day for me when i logged into the meshed and twisted passages of this internet thing hoping to update these scribblings of mine but alas the Fate was so so cruel.I was painfully aware of a message popping up that my poor id and my poor poor writings were deleted...i mean pushed into oblivion.........poof............GONE. From that day forth i was scared to start this journey again.......but something inside me kept on pushing me to the edge.....to go over the edge and get back to this crazy world.After countless hours spend battling with these high flying emotions and fears i finally decided that it is now time that i come back into reality....back to the world where i am @ home.<br />And so here it begins again.Old stories forgotten,old dramas faded into memories,a new chapter is here.So from this day forth,the journey begins............to unravel what lies beneath this human yet inhuman specimen that is me,to understand the mind,the thoughts and finally last but not the least.............to answer the all important question i put to myself every moment of my 22 year old life........... "TO DIE OR NOT TO DIE,THAT IS A DAMN GOOD QUESTION"</span>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-52796724187144914652007-02-14T08:46:00.000-08:002007-02-15T07:37:50.380-08:00Love-past present and future<div><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Battered I lay on the ground</i></span> </div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Like a ship that ran aground</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Broken up and shattered by howling winds</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Destruction is beyond human minds.</i></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>They saw that love is blind, deaf, dumb</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>I say its nothing more but a garbage dump</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Rotting and stinking to its very core</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Scheming to draw people all the more</i></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Cute little Cupid with his lovely arrows</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Is nothing but a vile thing, evil till his marrows</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Disrupting lives is a hobby he carries on</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Lives that end with no future to look upon.</i></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Victim I am to his cruelty</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>A normal being, driven to insanity</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Plucked out of the life that was mine</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Forced to live a live amongst the swine</i></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>To Her I was only an instrument</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>One to be discarded after merriment</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>To be cast aside, thrown into the junkyard</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Joining countless lives existing within each yard.</i></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Broken hearts anything but new</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Feels like a fire inside, burning to your sinews</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Fuelled forward by an unnamed hatred</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Keeping out the madness, not that it mattered.</i></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Frozen inside, a block of hard old ice</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>With nothing but hatred in my eyes</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Times have changed, but I have moved on</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Dead and rotten but cold, to get my hands upon</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>My Love, to burn it up like dry timber</i></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style=";font-family:Baskerville Old Face;font-size:130%;" ><i>Trying me best to eradicate it forever.</i></span><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15553970.post-1171383406301130372007-02-13T08:15:00.000-08:002007-02-13T08:16:46.316-08:00Colliding Worlds<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span>We were sitting cross-legged in front of a big man. He was big in all sorts of ways, huge face covered by a bushy salt n pepper beard with no or little hair on his shiny head. His whole limbs were long and large but were hanging loosely from an enormous frame slumped in defeat. Strangely for a man this large, his voice was soft n pleasant. In the beginning his voice was very low but as he got into the main part of his story his voice became louder, his hands moving in expressions and overall there in front of us he was transformed from a nervous wreck of a man to a passionate speaker. He looked at each of us in the eye and with small smile he started his amazing life story.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>"In the beginning it was unbearable. Even just to breathe was so difficult that I literally had to push the air down into my lungs to stay alive. Yes , after all this, I didn't want to die, but I wanted to live for I know that even in death, what I desire is what I will never get.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span>Now it doesn't give anyone any inkling of an understanding if I were to say this story all backwards. So now in an ordered manner, this is what happened. But a word of caution, people who are non-romantics please don’t read it because this is something which i know you will not understand.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span>It all happened long back in time, around 21 years ago. I was just another guy in the street. I had a great job, had good friends and had a lot of time and money in my hand and it was and still is the best times that i ever had. Okay so if go on in this manner, I can assure you that you are going to get bored very soon because such long were the adventures we did in those long unforgettable days. Coming back, it was a period of fun, joy, friendship and lot of adventures. We were young and had all the time in the world with us and with not even a single care in the world. And then she came.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span>I didn't know where she was from, one day she just showed up in a burger joint we frequented. She was lonely so after a couple of hours, being chivalrous gentlemen that we were, we went and befriended her and that is how it all began. First of all, there was nothing special about her and you can always lose sight of her in a crowd. She was neither tall or short, nor fat or slim but a plain normal looking girl. But when you stand close to her and just look into her eyes, then you can see something very different. Unlike the usual listless or overly made up eyes in other gals, there was something more there. Her eyes had an unnatural shine and she had a way of closing her eyes half way through while talking and this really took my breath away. In her eyes I don’t know what I saw but it filled me with a new sense of happiness and joy which I have not yet experienced. I felt myself being drawn more and more into those deep dark eyes, the effect which I can compare now to that of a Black hole. To make the long story short, I fell for her and fallen hard. I don’t know how she felt about me, still I don’t know. But when I look back now, I think she enjoyed my company. What began as a friendly conversation and a casual acquaintance grew into something more. Gradually I began yearning for her company more and more. We spent countless hours talking and talking about anything and everything under the sun over countless beers and fries. But every time there was something between us, an invisible wall that I was afraid to breach and she didn’t try to bring down. Each and every day I was sort of lost in a world of my own until I saw her. Outwardly I was my old normal self but inside I was a wreck till I caught sight of her, sitting waiting for me at our own special seat in the joint where I first met her. All the time I was thinking, was I in love with her? But each time I stress that I am not, I knew that I was betraying myself but there was nothing I could do-nothing I could say that could define how I felt about her. She was special to me, precious to me in my own way; God knows what way it was. So this went on for a pretty long time, but then something began worrying me. That wall between us seemed to grow more and more solid. In all our time together, whatever I asked her, she didn’t tell me anything about herself. Repeatedly I asked, first casually, then forcefully but there were still no replies. The only thing she used to tell me is just one thing-will tell you later when its time. So now this perfectly innocent piece of conversation had me worried sick. A thousand questions sprang up to my mind. Was she married? Already got a boyfriend? Was she an orphan? All these thoughts combined together and drove me mad. One fine day or rather one fine evening, it erupted. I was having so much of these emotions welled up inside that I was so adamant that I asked her all these questions and much more to her face, eye to eye. But this time, she answered me with a smile, a smile that still haunts me, a slow sad smile that can set your pulse racing. Without a word she got out and started walking, I followed her. She kept on glancing behind to see whether I was there I acknowledged her looks with a nod of my head and then she would be walking again and I followed. This went on for quite sometime and finally she reached in front of my house and sat on a bench on the lawn outside. I went and sat beside her. We sat like that for around an hour, two people just sitting together. I could bear no more of this, so I turned, took her hands and pleaded with her, please tell me something. Gently she removed her hands from my grasp and stood up, her face glowing with that sad smile again. Then she took my hand and placed it on her heart. I was shocked.....my hand went right through her. It was as if she was not there. I tried grabbing her hands again but there she was just standing smiling like that and my hands going right through her. She mouthed a goodbye then and with that enigmatic smile still on her lips, she blew me a kiss and then she was no more there. I was stunned, shocked. I just didn't know what to do or what to say. I was destroyed; I do not know what had happened. I suddenly felt like laughing and crying all together and to shout and jump and climb to the moon. The days after that were just a blur. I was in and out of dreams so often that the line between reality and the fiction became blurred.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span>Two months passed before I could come back to my world. To all around it was the old me again, laughing and having the time of my life but inside i was bleeding every moment I live. The pain of loss was sapping all my strength and will. I lived like this for all this time and i haven't told anyone about it for all this time. Finally, I can feel the ache reducing in intensity, sharing one's sorrows with someone else is always a good way to reduce ones own sadness. I do not say you must believe it, but now as you all can see the person that I have become in all this time, I think you know in your heart that what I say is true. I think I can see the orderly waiting to see whether I have finished and to see you out. So come back again anytime so that I can tell you more about my past experiences. "<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span>He finished and was escorted out by two burly men in blue overalls; standard nurse uniform. Before we left, we went to see the doctor as to ask him about the patient we visited that day.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";">When we asked him about what was wrong with him and mentioned his experiences, the doc gave a quiet laugh and told us,” He told it to you also rite? Actually he is in this institution for the past 20 years. He is convicted for killing his wife and her parents in a fit of rage and is been in denial ever since. As due to his unstable mental condition, he was placed here and is been here till then. All the stories that he tell is nothing more than a fragment of his fantasies...a form of self denial to bury the guilt he has within himself."<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style=""> </span>Who to believe, who not to believe? With this question weighing heavily on our minds, we got out of the hospital once more...not going back but to come back again later to complete this journal about the wandering minds trapped inside those 4 concrete walls.<o:p></o:p></span></p>slain_angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02097052340952887593noreply@blogger.com0