Day 0:
Bad hangover from yesterday. Got to go to work today. Woke
up late. One hour, I must be out of house by then.
Brushed, skipped on bath and breakfast. Got ready. Lighted
the cigarette. Ah..finally some peace.
Bad day at work. Need to unwind and fast. Gets out of office
at lunch. Skipped lunch. Lighted the cigarette. Damn, I needed that.
Took half day leave. Went home. Hot day to walk. Drank a
bottle of coke, lighted a cigarette. Hmm, cigarettes with coke is tasting good.
Party time tonight. Drinking rum and coke. Lighted a
cigarette. Drank rum, lighted cigarette, drank rum, lighted another cigarette,
drank rum, lighted another cigarette and another....and another and
another....and....passed out
Day 1:
Damn woke up late today. Called in sick at work. Painful
headache. Lighted a cigarette. Its already afternoon. Called restaurant for
home delivery. Ordered another pack of cigarettes. Ate a late lunch. Lighted
another cigarette. Drank left over rum from yesterday. Feeling sleepy. Lighted
another cigarette. Went to sleep
Day 2:
Too tired to get up. Bad case of cough and cold. Lighted a
cigarette. Smoke feels good on my throat. Ordered same food as yesterday,
Ordered another pack of cigarettes. Call came from manager at work. Cut the
call and kept phone on silent mode. Ate food. Too tired to stay up any more.
Lighted another cigarette. Feeling very tired. Went back to sleep
Day 3:
Woke up, its late afternoon already. Was up coughing all
night. Could not sleep well. Feeling tired again. Got up. Lighted a cigarette.
Throat feels raw. Smoke seems to clear it. Lighted another cigarette , and
another, and another. Feeling a bit better. Running low on cash. Walked to the
nearby ATM. Bought cough syrup. Went to restaurant, had only soup. Bought a
pack of cigarettes. Reached home. It was a tiring day. Lighted a cigarette.
Throat feels a bit better already. Drank the cough syrup. Fell asleep on chair.
Day 4:
Woke up and still on the chair. Neck hurts a lot , cannot
turn my head. Lights a cigarette. Drank left over coke. Lights another
cigarette. Drank cough syrup. Checked phone and saw there were many missed
calls, mostly from work. Turned mobile off. Out of cigarettes again. Went out
and bought a carton of cigarettes. Lights a cigarette. Not hungry, but in a mood
to drink. Went out and bought rum and coke. Hot day. Lights another cigarette.
Drinking early today. Music must be played. Slayer singing “Dead Skin Mask” in
the background. Lights a cigarette , drink rum, lights another cigarette,
drinks rum, lights another .....drinks....lights.....passed out.
Day 5:
Too sick to get up. Finally got on my feet, feels like
throwing up. Threw up in the kitchen sink. Lights a cigarette. Bad taste in
mouth, feeling sick again. Cough syrup almost over. Drank cough syrup with rum.
Still throat burns. Applies Vicks vaporub on the cigarette and smoked. Feeling
better now. Smoke clears my throat. Too tired to go out. Watched TV, not hungry
at all. Lights another cigarette. Tried to order food, but no cash. Decides to
fast. Lights a cigarette. Head spinning. Had a paracetamol. Not working. Drank
the last of cough syrup with last of rum. Fell asleep on chair again.
Day 6:
Opened eyes. Too tired to get up. Lights a cigarette. Fell
asleep with cigarette in hand
Day 7:
Woke up. Dry throat. Cannot open eyes properly. Lights a
cigarette. Tries to throw up, nothing happens . Stomach cramps and head aches
are troubling. Lights a cigarette, not helping, lights another one. Feeling
hungry , tried ordering food. Restaurant is closed, too tired to try calling
another place. Lights a cigarette. Ate left over Lays from 2 days back. Lights
a cigarette. Tired again, goes to bed to try to sleep. Hungry to sleep well,
lights another cigarette, and another ....and another....pass out.
Day 8:
Woke up. House is
dark. No idea what time it is. Turned light on. Lights a cigarette. Someone is
knocking on the door. Not feel like answering. Checked phone, turned it on. Not
turning on, its out of battery charge. Too tired to get the charger, too tired.
Lights another cigarette. Goes back to bed to sleep again.
Day 9:
Woke up. Someone is carrying me Feels like a kidnapping.
Tried to shout but no sound comes out. Falls out of bed, bad dream. Too nervous
to go back to sleep. Lights a cigarette. Hands are shaking. Lights another
cigarette. Thinking about food, but not very hungry. Lights another cigarette.
Searched house for something to drink. Little bit of rum left. Had it with
water. Lights another cigarette. Feels like throwing up again. Ignored. Lights
another cigarette, not feeling well, lights another one. Back to bed, fell
asleep.
Day 10:
Opened eyes. Vision is kind of blurry. Bright and dark at
the same time. Room stinks. Body stinks. Clothes stinks. Breath stinks. Tried
to get up to wash and change. Too much of effort. Sat down on the floor. Too
tired to get up again. Lights a cigarette. Smoke clearing up vision. Bad breath
is a memory. Smoke smells good. Lights up another cigarette, and another, and
another....passes out on floor.
Day 11:
Woke up. Still on the floor. Throat itches. Searching for
cigarettes, last pack opened. Lights a cigarette. Need to buy more while going
out for food. Lights another one, could not finish it. Drank water, fell asleep
again
Day 12:
Woke up. Lights a cigarette. Checks for coke, nothing left
in the bottle. Lights a cigarette. Not feeling ok. Packet of cigarettes is
over. Tried to find another one, cannot find a single cigarette. Found half
smoked one from yesterday, lights it. Smoke feels good. I need more, more
cigarettes, need to find more. Passes out
Day xxx:
Woke up. Feels like been asleep for quite a long time. Dark
all around. May be power failure. Too tired to move or talk. Tried finding the
cigarettes, not around anymore. Tried lifting myself up. Banged head on
something. Wood. Pushes it with both hands, not moving. Tries harder. Searches around for my lighter.
Hand hits my body, sick sound. Panic sets in. Pushes harder. Small glimmer or
light. Puts hand near light. It passes through completely. White bone staring
at me. Smacks on head to clear thoughts. Sick sound of bone against bone. Bones
on skull, sounds so so...sick.
“SILENT SCREAM OF PAIN”
Am I dead or Am I alive?? Buddy, you have a cigarette for
me?
