Revelations of a Cynical Mind

The world silent and dark
Foul stenches floating thru air
Blinding my senses wth them
Suffocating me in their embrace.

Here i was wanderng,searching
For a way out of this world
For eons,i had benn doing do
With no luck in my ventures.

Trapped beneath these ruins i was
Frm the time i cud see and hear myself
Noone else but me alone was here
The lone being of this world.

I did shout and cry out loud
But noone came or returned my calls
All my cries hopelessly lost out
In the swivelling typhoons around me.

Once i had,sometime back
A glimmer of light in darkness around
Fuelled by hope i trudged along
Towards the light,the promise of escape.

Sacrificing all that i bulit around me
To survive in this abnormal world
I rushed headlong into the darkness
Towards the burning light of deliverance.

But the happened the unthinkable
For the first time in my existance
I knew what fear was,not simple fear
But raw all consuming fear.

It was not the light of hope
Nor was it the promise of escape
It was but a trap set for me
By forces unknown to lure me out.

I knew it when the light vanished
And when i felt the darkness again
More menacing that it ever were
The stench so foul that i almost lost my mind.

I found myself hurtling down
Like a doll,into depths unknown to me
But now i am trapped again,but beneath
The world i hated so bad before.

Now as i think of the past,
I knew i was lucky then
This new prison of mine for me
Is much more terrible than the one above.

I had but little peace up there
On the world that was once mine
Now i am beneath in this hell
Peace is smthng i will never have.

Each passing day brings more pain
I feel myself growing weaker and weaker
Emotions drained out of my soul
By this world,like someone sucking out my blood.

With each passing day,it gets worse
I am decayng inside,every moment,
Now i feel a new stench rising,
Yhe decayed smell of the man who i once was.

Now at this moment of hopelessness and despair
I find that i get a rare insight
Am still searching for those who were there
Who wanted me to suffer so bad a fate.

Now i realise its noone but me
Who pushed myself into this fateful prison
Maddened and blinded by people around who
Once were my friends,i walkd into this on my own.

Now in these dying moments of my life,
I find that all is clear to me
The world where i was,where i am now
Is nowhere but within me,Inside me.

My mind was the prison i was in
My mind is the prison i am in
So for one last time,i pray for an answer
GOd deliver me from this,with my Death.

.................................

My Life,i think.............

In the dark and dreary days
I wait the call of life
To raise me from this hell hole
To free the soul of my life.

Bitter cold blinds my senses
Emptiness numbs my mind
Wherever my eyes wander
all i see are faces of me.

Torn and bleeding, they are
but images form my past
haunting me in this period
on the wake of my resurrection.

This has been my life, all the way
the time from which my silly soul
was plucked from the ocean of life
churned up by the wheels of fate.

Cursed and cast asunder,
is this existance of mine
into this labyrinth of emotions
overwhelming me at every turn..

Here i'm wandering through this
from time immemorial
seeking to escape, but for me
i realise that there is no escape.

Once one is inside oneself
noone can save him but him
but in my case i know
even he is having apartheid.

I am, but trapped in myself
beyond the point of no return
only time will tell what i am
or what i will become in me.

One by one all faces have died
all dead and decaying in me
emotions draining with my blood
dying out one by one.

Bleeding i lie on the floor
all is lost, light fading fast.
I had but one thing to hold on
now that called hope is broken too.

I can feel the hand of death
his cold hand on my throat
choking me, minute by minute
my life slowly ebbing away.

Its true that i hoped to live
but now i realised it
no use trying to stem the flow
it has come to sweep me away.

Now that the time has come at last
For liberation from this trap
i believe i do love now
to escape from all this.
Its true what is said
that for one who lost all hope
the best way is death.